


Re-arrange

by beepochi



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Sex, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Self-Discovery, Slice of Life, only a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:41:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28490346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beepochi/pseuds/beepochi
Summary: Robert Buckley was a nice guy with not much direction in life. He had, as it so often went, a small brain but a big heart.Elias Brandt was a nice guy with a little more direction in life. He had, as it turned out, a big brainanda big heart.Meeting each other threw a rather large spanner in the works for the both of them.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 32
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> something kinda light hearted  
> pls tell me if u spot any mistakes  
> thanks for reading c: hope u enjoy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was perhaps half an hour in, when Robert threw his beer on some poor, unsuspecting man passing behind him.

"Robert?"

"Huh?" his eyes shifted back to Annette's.

"I asked, would you like more coffee or should we go?" she wasn't very impressed with him today.

"Um." he glanced around the cafe. "Coffee." He decided, nodding.

"You're paying. I need to use the loo. Just another latte for me."

He sighed and slipped off his chair. Annette was very serious. Too serious. Nobody else in the family was serious, only Annette.

Three other people had suddenly resolved to get coffee as Robert stood, meaning the was now a line. He scratched the back of his head.

"Excuse me, sir."

"Hm?" Robert swung round, elbowing the small man behind him in the face. "Oh, god." Embarrassment, horror and just a sprinkling of amusement flooded through him. "I'm _so_ sorry, here, um. God, I'm so sorry mate."

The man let out a muffled sort of squawk as he swatted Robert's rather large hands away. He straightened and cleared his throat. "No matter." He breathed, slightly out of breath from all the swatting. "I was simply wondering if you wouldn't mind letting me ahead. You're quite tall and I cannot see."

"Huh?"

"Letting me ahead in the line - you're blocking my view of the menu."

"Oh. Right. Um. I can move left a bit, here, but it's- this is my spot, um..." he trailed off.

"If you're moving, that's as good as leaving the line; I may as well go ahead."

"Well, no. Um." Robert was confused by this odd, little man. He sighed. "Sure. Go on."

"I am forever in your debt, sir." the man said, shuffling ahead.

Robert sighed again and decided to look at the dessert cabinet until he reached the front of the line.

Annette would no doubt be displeased by the slice of strawberry cheesecake now sitting before Robert. To begin with, it was overpriced and Robert apparently had _no concept whatsoever of the value of money_. To end with, Annette simply wasn't fond of sweets, much less cheesecake. Robert peeled a freeze-dried strawberry from the top and nibbled at it, a touch miserably.

Annette took a legendary amount of time in loos and no one quite knew why. Robert's theory was that she had bowels of iron. Thus, when the time finally came to release, it took so long due to the sheer quantity that had been stockpiled. She might rip out his kneecaps if he proposed this theory.

"Sir." a mocha was slid in front of him and he grinned.

"Thanks boss."

The server returned the smile, placing the latte before Annette's empty chair. "Enjoy."

"You too." Robert nodded.

It was only when the server had returned behind the counter that Robert realised _you too_ was not the appropriate response. Alas, time could not go backwards.

"Rob." Annette dropped gracefully back into her seat. "I've just heard from- oh." Her dark eyes landed on the innocent slice of cake between them.

Robert's throat clicked as he swallowed.

"You have no self-control." Annette told him, wrapping delicate fingers around her coffee. "It's appalling. You're not a child; you're almost twenty-six, for god's sake." Her eyes flicked up and caught Robert's

He felt himself wither. "Annie-"

"-besides, aren't you trying to watch your figure?"

"I am?" Robert hadn't been aware.

Critical eyes ran over him. Distaste curled her lips. "You should be."

Robert's mouth fell open and he looked down at himself. He was in _good_ shape, thank you very much. He went to the gym twice a week; his pecs were nicely defined and he could bench-press Annette without breaking a sweat. _Watch his figure_ \- the audacity. "I'm fighting fit." He told her with a fire in his eyes.

Perfect eyebrows arched and she took a long sip. Upon swallowing, she said, "So don't get sloppy. I'll give the cake to Janice; I'm meeting her later."

The fire was doused. Robert slumped back with a whimper. "Janice." He muttered.

Annette set her coffee down with a light thud. "Anyway. Elise got in touch."

Robert eyed his mocha, thumbing the rim. "How nice."

"Eye-contact, Robert." Annette told him and he moodily lifted his gaze. "She's available Friday, so buy something nice to wear. A button-up."

Robert straightened up and took a sip of his mocha. "Can I bring Ricky?"

Annette looked at him. "No." She said, frosty. "You cannot bring _Ricky_."

"You don't like Ricky?" Robert asked because she always said his name as if it were a cuss.

"Ricky's unemployed-"

"- _self_ -employed-"

"-and it is a date. You don't bring your friends on dates."

Robert shot her a grin. "Unless you date your friends."

She was not amused. "Six-thirty at the Lion Wrestler."

Robert sighed. "Alrighty Aphrodite." He lifted his mug. "Can't wait."

* * *

He could, in fact, wait. He would _love_ to wait. A decade, minimum, would be nice. But fate was against him and Friday approached with an extraordinary eagerness.

"Undo the top one." Ricky instructed from his spot eating crisps on Robert's bed.

Robert frowned at him in the mirror. "Annie said I had to look _proper_."

Crumbs cascaded down Ricky's chin, onto the duvet below. "Yeah, _proper_ not _stuffy_."

"They're... the same thing?" Robert said, fumbling with the top button until it unpopped.

"Are they?" Ricky replied with an air of mystery. He wiped greasy fingers on Robert's duvet and sat up. "Yeah. Better. You look nice."

Robert considered himself.

A black, short-sleeved button-up sat above light blue jeans. The shirt had a floral pattern; orange, red and yellow flowers dotted across the material, accompanied by dark green leaves. It wasn't tight but nor was it loose. He'd been told - by his Annette-approved, shopping chaperone Casey - that it was flattering. The jeans were not new. They were going on three years old and were slim-cut and comfortable. His Annette-disapproved, best friend Ricky had told him they highlighted his _ass_ ets. His dark blond hair was scruffy in - Ricky's words - _a_ _charming, sexy kind of way_ and he'd made sure to shave this morning. Overall, he agreed. He looked nice.

"So she's a teacher?" Ricky asked, rolling off the bed and heading toward the door.

Robert overcame his vanity and pulled his gaze from the mirror, following. "Er. Nurse, I think."

Ricky hummed. "What does she look like?"

Robert had been shown one picture. "She's brunette." He said, casting his mind back. "Chubby, not super tall." What else? "Was in a yellow sun dress, which was cute. Um. Nice smile."

Ricky nodded, flicking the kettle on and leaning on the breakfast bar. "Think you'll get on?"

Robert shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets and leaning opposite Ricky. "Annie might pull off my toenails if I mess this one up."

Ricky snorted. "Why's she so keen on getting you in a relationship?"

Robert's head fell back with a groan. He watched the ceiling of his flat. "She thinks I need to settle down; grow up; become a _father_."

"A father?" Ricky echoed, amused.

"I don't know." Robert looked forward. "Something like that. She thinks I'm wasting time."

"What do your parents think?" Ricky asked, plucking an apple from the fruit bowl and inspecting it.

"They don't mind what I do." Robert told him, watching him take a rather ambitious bite of the fruit. "As long as I have a roof over my head, they think I'm doing alright."

Apple juice dribbled down Ricky's chin and he slurped. "Be nice though," He started, wiping a hand across his mouth. "for you to have someone special."

Robert privately disagreed. It was a lot of work and he wasn't sure he was up to it. "Speaking of," He said, pushing off the counter and readying their mugs. "how's Emma?"

"Still on about a dog." Ricky sighed. "But I know she'll get bored and _I'll_ be the one left to train it like."

"You also want a dog." Robert told him, dropping a teabag in each cup.

Ricky waved his apple-free hand. "That's not the point."

Robert raised his eyebrows, glancing back at him. "What is the point?"

"If _she_ wants a dog, it's _her_ responsibility." Ricky said, as if it made sense.

Robert squinted at him. "But you're getting the dog _together_."

Ricky took another bite of his apple and shook his head. "You dwon't 'nderstand."

Robert snorted and decided to let him off this time.

* * *

The Lion Wrestler was a popular bar. They had quiz nights every Wednesday which Robert on-and-off attended. They also had karaoke on Sundays and Robert had long been intimidated by that. It was always bustling and tonight was no exception.

The music was some sort of upbeat, background pop. The walls were hung with indie art and vintage film posters. The first time he'd come - dragged along by Yusuf - Robert had found it all a bit much. But it had grown on him in the years since. The staff were all lovely and the prices weren't half-bad.

Elise looked nice.

Her hair was braided into two little buns. She wore colourful, dangly earrings and they looked to be made of buttons. She wore a tight, black dress which finished mid-thigh and her feet sat in some elegant, black high-heels.

"Hey." she smiled and it was clear she was nervous. "Robert?"

Robert did his best to return the smile. "Alright?" He held out his hand for her to shake. Annette had mentioned something about handshakes but Robert was unable to recall whether she had said _do_ or _don't_.

Regardless, Elise gave it a polite shake and Robert watched. Her hands were _tiny_. His were probably bigger than her entire face. He wasn't a fan of the size difference, in all honesty; it freaked him out. She nodded, "Yeah, you?"

"I'm good, yeah." Robert answered, tucking his (freakishly large?) hands away in his pockets. "Let me, uh, buy you a drink?"

"Right." she swept a loose thread of hair behind her ear. "Thanks."

Robert smiled as they headed over to the bar. "Oh." He remembered, looking down at her. "You, um. You look nice."

She ducked her head with a bubbly laugh. "And you." Her cheeks dusted with a faint pink.

She had a long island, while Robert just had whatever was cheapest on tap - Tiger apparently. Robert's feet were easily able to touch the floor from his bar stool and he looked at hers, only barely reaching the metal bar, two-thirds of the way down.

"So," Robert smiled, bringing his eyes upward. Her makeup was neat and simplistic. She was pretty. "you're a nurse?"

"Oh." she stirred her cocktail with the straw. "No, I- a teacher."

Robert's mind played a reel of Annette hitting him with a brick. "Ah." He tried a chuckle. "Right. Yeah. Sorry mate-" Annette hopped into a steamroller and drove his flattened body into the road. "-I mean." He cleared his throat, wondering if this was salvageable. "Not- not _mate_. Sorry. Um..."

To Robert's complete surprise, Elise just laughed. "You're alright." She hummed, before having a sip of her drink. "I'm nervous too."

"Oh." Robert wasn't nervous, per se, he was just clumsy. But it was an excuse he could most definitely make. "Yeah, I'm not..." He rubbed the back of his head. "so good at these."

"Me either." she smiled. "I work at Hosbrough Primary, about ten minutes from here."

"Oh right." Robert nodded, as if he were familiar with the school. "What age?"

"Seven to eight year olds." she nodded.

"Yikes." Robert breathed without thinking.

She laughed again and Robert decided he liked the noise. "Mm." Ice clinked in her glass as she continued to stir it. "They can be a handful but they're all very sweet, really. It's the parents you have to worry about."

"Yeah?" Robert prompted, taking a swig.

She watched him swallow before answering. "Yeah." Her lips twisted with wry amusement. "It's only a small portion, but for some of them, their child can do no wrong. So if there _do_ happen to be any problems, I'm the only one to blame."

Robert nodded, eyes flicking to the barman while he thought of a response. "Teachers are, uh," What was it Yusuf had said? "unsung heroes."

Elise laughed. "Well." She leant her cheek in her palm. "I don't disagree."

They then talked about Robert and his fascinating career as a tradesman. Most recently, he'd been tiling a roof. From there, they wandered in the well-charted direction of hobbies. Elise liked cats (she owned two; a plump, black one named Gary and a young, ginger one called Guthrie) and she also played ultimate frisbee every second Sunday. She went for runs here and there and enjoyed cheese. In turn, Robert told her of his fondness for the gym and said _me too_ in regard to the running. He admitted he wasn't a fan of cheese but said he did enjoy nearly every other food and loved to cook. He refrained from telling her about his knitting because Annette had threatened against it.

It was perhaps half an hour in, when Robert threw his beer on some poor, unsuspecting man passing behind him. He'd been talking about _Game of Thrones_ (a party he was late to, but enjoying nonetheless) and anyone who knew Robert, knew he loved a good hand gesture. Unfortunately, Robert had forgotten his left hand had been occupied with a pint glass. The man's startled cuss had helpfully reminded him.

"Oh my-" he hurried to stand, placing his glass safely on the bar top as Elise covered her mouth. "-I'm _so_ sorry mate." He wasn't sure what he hoped to achieve, patting down the man's objectively soaked dress shirt. "Let me just..." Just what? "shit, sorry, I-"

He cut himself off when hands wrapped around his wrists. "You're fine." Came a smooth, deep voice.

Robert, finally, looked at the man's face.

They were a similar height; Robert perhaps being a tad shorter (though, there couldn't be more than a few centimetres in it). The man's skin was tan and his hair was a chestnut brown - short and tousled. His jawline was strong and his nose was slightly crooked, as if it had once been broken. His eyes were warm and brown. He was quite good-looking, Robert thought.

"Um." Robert meekly tugged his hands away. "I, uh... sorry."

"It's fine." the man reiterated. "Buy me a drink and we're even."

"Oh." Robert glanced at Elise. He thought it was fair, but he'd rather not offend her and risk Annette poisoning his tea sometime this coming week.

Elise smiled at him. "He deserves some sort of compensation."

"Right." Robert nodded. He shot the man an apologetic grin. "What d'you fancy boss?"

"Black Dog APA." the man easily responded, settling on the stool beside Robert's.

"Right on." Robert nodded, signalling the barman and retaking his own seat.

"I'm Robert, by the way." Robert said as the barman started on their order.

"I'm Elise." Elise smiled, leaning forward.

The man smiled back. "Elias."

"Ooh, are you Norwegian?" Elise asked and Robert wasn't sure why.

Elias chuckled. "No."

Elise frowned. "Danish?'

Robert must be missing something. He smiled at the barman as he set their drinks before them.

"I was born in Germany." Elias said. "But I've been in the UK since I was three."

"Oh." Elise nodded happily. "You speak German?"

"Mm." he pulled his beer toward himself and Robert did the same. "Are you two on a date?"

"Yep." Elise grinned while Robert nodded.

Elias chuckled quietly. "Right. I'll leave after this, then. Sorry to gatecrash."

"Not at all." Elise told him.

And then, for reasons unknown even to him, Robert said, "Your shirt is see-through."

Elias looked down. Robert, and no-doubt others, could see a portion of his chest where the fabric was wet. His left nipple, notably, was visible. "Uh..." He said and Robert didn't blame him for sounding like he wasn't sure how to continue.

"No, sorry mate. I didn't-" Robert gave an awkward laugh. This was why he'd wanted Ricky to come along. Ricky didn't have foot-in-mouth disease. "-mean to- I just, um... said it." Eloquent.

"Right." Elias responded.

A moment of silence passed between the three of them.

"So what do you do, Elias?" Elise asked and Robert came to the conclusion that she was an angel.

Elias was the head of strategic finance at an insurance company and neither Robert nor Elise had asked him to elaborate. Instead, Robert steered them back to the safe and familiar topic of hobbies.

"I have a German Shepherd." Elias told them. "So I enjoy long walks with her."

"Neat." Robert said.

"Lovely." Elise said.

Elias laughed softly.

They talked a little more, mainly about Beef the German Shepherd. Robert had mixed feelings about the name. But before long, Elias insisted on leaving them to it and wandered off.

"Nice guy." Elise said, sipping her mojito.

"Yeah." Robert agreed.

He was beginning to feel sleepy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His laughter was cut off when he walked straight into something.
> 
> Or some _one_ , it seemed, going by the small, "Oh."

"Lovers _are_ friends." Annette told him, dropping lipstick into her purse.

"Yeah, I know." Robert said. "But they're also _lovers_."

Annette flicked her eyes up to his, straightening and slinging her purse over her shoulder. "You don't have a point."

"Yes I do." Robert said, walking with her to the doorway where they each pulled on their shoes. "My point is that Elise and I _can't_ be lovers because we're more like _friends_. There's no spark."

Annette raised flat eyebrows at him. "Spark."

Robert stood his ground, nodding resolutely. "Spark."

Annette watched him for a moment more, then sighed and pushed open her front door. "Grow up, Robert."

Robert bit his lip, weak frustration rolling through him. He followed her out and waited grumpily for her to lock up.

"Three more dates." Annette told him, keys jingling. "And if there's still no _spark_ , we'll find someone else."

Robert didn't reply. He was feeling hard-done-by.

"I'll see you later." Annette told him, moving to her car.

Robert watched her turn onto the road before crossing to get into his own car. While Annette drove a posh SUV, Robert drove an old, red pickup truck. He loved his truck. Going by all the problems that kept popping up, however, it appeared his truck didn't reciprocate.

Today, he started work with Casey and a few other boys on a retaining wall. Thrilling stuff. The drive over was nice. This client lived on the outskirts of town, somewhere between rural and urban. The trees got bigger, greener and more common the closer Robert got. He'd always been a fan of plant-life. Maybe he'd try his hand at landscaping one day.

The sun was high and bright by the time he parked outside. Casey was already there, along with Charlie and a younger guy Robert didn't recognise.

They worked hard until five, save for the odd tea-break, courtesy of Mrs. Jones. She was a nice lady; middle-aged, friendly and very appreciative. Her two Labradors seemed fond of them and Robert was only too happy to give them the attention they sought.

When work was complete for the day, they all decided to meet at the pub in a half-hour and Robert sent Ricky a text of invitation.

Their pub of choice was the imaginatively named British Isles. It was low-key, laid-back and cheap, suiting the boys perfectly.

They took their usual booth in the back-left. The seats were a faded, red leather and the table had various stains and dents. Robert slipped in first, followed by Ricky and the young guy he'd learnt this morning was named Tommy. Casey and Charlie soon enough joined and slipped opposite, bringing with them the drinks.

Conversation flowed around trivial topics such as life updates and recent musings before Casey leant forward and scratched his nose. "Oh right." He started, green eyes finding Robert's. "How'd your date go, Bobby?"

He knew Robert hated being called Bobby and Robert sent him an unamused look. "She was nice." He said with a sigh. "But there was no-"

"-spark." several of them cut him off.

Robert huffed out a laugh, sliding down in his seat. "Annette says I have to go on three more."

Charlie wrinkled his nose, swishing beer around his mouth. "How 'bout you just... don't?" He burped. "I mean. I don't let my sister run my life."

Ricky laughed into his drink and Robert let out a pathetic noise.

"Mate, have you met Annette?" Casey asked.

Charlie squinted at nothing, thinking. "No...?"

"Consider yourself lucky." Ricky told him. "She's terrifying."

"Even so," Tommy piped up, leaning his elbows onto the wooden table. "you're never gonna be happy if you're not living for yourself."

Robert's eyebrows jumped. "Oh." This guy was surprisingly profound. Sadly, it was wasted on Robert. "You mean...?" He sheepishly prompted, sitting on just the edge of understanding.

Tommy scratched his cheek. "Family's important and all. But at the end of the day, it's your life. You can't do what you think will make other people happy, you gotta do it for _you_ , mate." He paused in order to have a sip. "S'what I decided after meeting my boyfriend."

Robert's eyebrows jumped again. "Gay?"

Tommy snorted at his phrasing. "Yeah. And my parents weren't keen at first, but now my dad goes round punching homophobes." He shot Robert a grin. "That's cos I'm living true - they see me thriving."

Robert hummed, slumping backwards. "Living true."

They soon enough moved onto Ricky's dog situation. Today, Ricky seemed intent on getting one and Robert wondered what tomorrow would look like. He hoped it looked like a visit to the SPCA. He'd love Ricky and Emma to get a dog. He'd doubly love it if they managed to get a Great Dane or Doberman. There was something simply... better about big dogs. In Robert's eyes, at least. Naturally, Annette preferred handbag-sized dogs.

It was approaching 8 when the five of them spilled onto the footpath, laughing about that time Charlie and Casey got locked in the botanical gardens. Robert and Ricky naturally dropped to walk behind the other three and their conversation drifted toward the time, in high-school, when Ricky had stabbed a pen into the back of their chemistry teacher. It had been done with extraordinary force as Mr. Matthews had been bent down, innocently tying his laces. Ricky had somehow mistaken him for Robert and was subsequently sentenced to a week's worth of detention. Robert was laughing loudly as the face of a horrified, 16-year-old Ricky played in his mind's eye. His laughter was cut off when he walked straight into something.

Or some _one_ , it seemed, going by the small, "Oh."

He stumbled backward, eyes widening. "Shit, I'm so- Elliot!"

The man opposite raised calm eyebrows, rubbing his shoulder absently. "Elias." He corrected mildly.

"Oh." Robert bit his lip. "Right. Sorry mate."

Elias shook his head slightly.

"You alright?" Robert asked and it was unclear if he was referring to bumping into him, or if it was just a general inquiry.

"Yeah, good." came the answer, along with a quiet smile.

Beside Robert, Ricky cleared his throat.

"Oh yeah." Robert nodded. "Uh, this is Elias." He said. "I met him on Friday, on the date."

Ricky offered Elias a grin. "Aright?" He asked, extending his hand. "Ricky."

Elias returned the handshake. "You heading home?"

Robert yawned, scratching the back of his neck and spotting the other three a little way up the pavement. They'd stopped, glancing back to Ricky and Robert. "Think so." Robert nodded, eyes back on Elias. "You? Guess you live around here, huh?"

"Mm." Elias nodded, hands slipping into the pocket of his slacks. "I'm going for a drink."

"Lucky you missed me." Robert joked.

Elias smiled quietly. "I suppose." He cocked his head. "How's your girlfriend?"

"Oh." Robert said. "Girlfriend's not quite the word, mate."

"Yet." Ricky added, with a wink.

"Right." Elias nodded.

"Um. She- she's good." Robert answered. "She has parent-teacher interviews coming up, which she's, uh," What was the word she'd used over text last night? "dreading."

Elias nodded again. "Fair enough."

"You going to the British Isles?" Robert asked.

"Hm? No." Elias said. "Horse and Trap."

"Oh right." Robert had heard of that pub, but never been.

"Lads! You coming?" Casey called from where he and the others stood ahead.

Robert glanced at him, over Elias's shoulder. "Give us a sec mate!"

Casey shot him a thumbs-up, leaning against a tree.

Elias smiled. "I'll let you get on."

"Nah," Robert said. "how 'bout we join you?" He asked, glancing at Ricky. "I fancy another drink."

Ricky snorted and shrugged in that easy-going way of his.

"Join me?" Elias asked, pulling Robert's attention back.

Robert blinked. "Oh." Annette had scolded him just the other day for being presumptuous. "I- I mean, if you want. Unless you're meeting friends already, I didn't mean to-"

"-you're welcome to come." Elias said.

Robert grinned. "Done."

He looked back to Casey, still leant on that tree. "Boys, we're gonna split!"

Charlie rolled his neck. "Alright mate!"

Casey pushed off his tree. "We'll see you tomorrow!"

Tommy just smiled and waved.

The Horse and Trap was a block down from the British Isles. It was a smarter pub, but nothing too swanky. They ordered; Ricky and Robert going for a tap beer as per usual and Elias going for a tap craft. When each man held a pint in his hand (as well as a bowl of chips, in Ricky's case), Elias led them to a table in the back. A pendant light hung above it and the table was smooth, polished and unstained.

"So," Elias undid the top button of his dress shirt. Today's one was blue and thankfully dry. "how long have you known Elise?"

Ricky stuffed a chip into his mouth. "How long've _you_?" He asked, sliding the bowl to the middle of the table.

Elias looked at the chips. "I met her last Friday." He replied, taking a one.

"Oh." Ricky said and Robert looked, a touch disdainfully, at the half-chewed potato inside his mouth. "You sounded so familiar, I thought..."

Elias smiled in acknowledgement.

"That was our first meeting." Robert told him, following in both their footsteps and taking a chip of his own. "She's, um, a friend.. of a friend of my sister's." He said. "My sister is dying to see me in a long-term thing."

Elias leant back, lips pulled upward. "You're not good at long-term _things_?"

Ricky snorted around his second chip and Robert groaned. "It's not that." He said. "More like..."

"No, it _is_ that." Ricky took over. "The longest he's had a girlfriend would be," He hummed, feigning thought. "two months."

"Oh." Elias seemed surprised and Robert wondered why. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-five." Robert mumbled, dragging his glass closer.

Elias nodded.

"What about you?" Ricky was tearing through the chips. "Have a girlfriend?"

Elias smiled. "I'm gay."

"My bad." Ricky said, mouth stuffed once more. "Boyfwiend?"

"No." Elias took a sip of beer. "I was with my ex for five years, though."

Ricky whistled. "Same here, bruv!" He held up a fist and Elias hesitantly bumped it. "'Cept," Ricky started, hand dropping back to the chips. "she's not my ex."

"I don't get how that works." Robert said, leaning forward on his elbows.

Elias raised his eyebrows and Ricky hummed in question.

"I mean," what did he mean? "how do you make it last?"

Ricky shook his head. "Nah, mate. You're fine." He said. "Your problem isn't lack of..." He waved an ambiguous, potato-y hand. "commitment or whatever. You just haven't might the right girl."

"Right. But say I meet the right girl," Robert looked to Elias. "how do I hold onto her?"

Elias tilted his head to the side. "How d'you think you're supposed to?"

Robert shook his head. "That's what I'm asking, mate. I've got no idea."

Elias's lips twitched. He wrapped a hand around his pint but made no move to drink it. "It doesn't help to plan things." He said. "I don't think you can have step-by-step expectations. You need to know how to forgive; how to support instead of criticise; you need to respect time and space; be affectionate; allow yourself to be wrong; be self-aware."

"Eh?" Robert, to say the least, was disheartened. "How can one bloke manage all that?"

Ricky elbowed him. "I manage it."

Robert scoffed. "As if."

Elias laughed quietly. "It's effort and it's practice." He said. "If your partner really likes you, it doesn't matter if you fuck up, as long as you properly try. Plus if they know it's your first real relationship, they'll be more understanding."

"You thought about being a couples therapist?" Robert mumbled.

Elias chuckled. "Speaking of, what do you do? You never said."

Robert scratched the back of his neck. "Um. Tradie." He threw Elias a grin. "Let me know if you, uh, ever need any odd jobs done."

Elias smiled over the rim of his pint. "Will do."

Ricky polished off the chips and Robert blinked; he'd only had one. "I'm a personal trainer."

Elias nodded. "What gym are you with?"

Ricky dusted his hands off on his trousers. "I'm freelance."

Elias hummed.

Robert dropped his chin onto his palm, watching Elias drink. "Hey, man," He started. "I don't know if this is, uh, rude but I'm curious."

Elias raised dark eyebrows, more in interest than caution.

"What's it like to be into men?" Robert asked. "I mean..." He frowned. "d'you think it's easier than girls? Homophobia aside."

Elias breathed out a laugh. "Homophobia aside," He began. "I don't know how to answer that question."

Robert chewed his lip. "My sister said lovers are friends." He glanced at Ricky. "How about it Rick?"

Ricky snorted into his pint. "Hard pass for me, thanks." He said, before straightening up. He considered Robert for a moment, then said, "Think we'd be alright, actually."

Robert wriggled his eyebrows. "Bet I'd give you the best blowie of your life."

Ricky burst into laughter and Robert followed suit.

Elias took a calm sip of his beer.

Catching sight of him, Robert stopped laughing.

Was that rude? Were they being disrespectful? Robert had never had any gay friends, so he didn't know the etiquette. _Was_ there etiquette? Was assuming there was etiquette in and of itself _against_ etiquette?

He cleared his throat and murmured, "Sorry."

Elias watched him. Something danced in his eyes but Robert was hesitant to call it amusement. "You're fine."

"Hey," Ricky leant forward. "what happens if you fancy a straight bloke?"

Elias sighed, running a hand over already ruffled hair. "What happens if you fancy a lesbian?"

Ricky genuinely considered this. "I suppose," He started, thoughtful. "I suppose it just happens. Suppose I move on at some point."

"Right." Elias agreed.

"Ever happened to you?" Robert asked, curious.

"Once." Elias answered. "While I was doing my A-levels."

Robert nodded. Can't have been much fun, doubly so if it had been a friend.

"So Robert," Elias lifted his hands and began undoing his cuffs. "you've never been in love?"

Robert laughed. When he put it like that... "Sounds pretty sad, huh?" he scratched his cheek and did his best to think. "I'm not sure about love," He said, watching Elias roll his sleeves up to his elbows. "but I've had crushes."

"Yeah?" Elias hummed.

"Yeah." Robert sighed, thinking of the biggest one. "Anna Hill."

She'd been a lovely girl, when they were both 17. Her hair had reached nearly her elbows, commonly seen in box braids. Her skin had been a deep brown; a shade or two darker than Ricky's. Her legs had been long and she'd often worn flowing skirts and pretty blouses. Her eyes had been a warm brown, always twinkling. Her smile had made Robert's heart beat in his throat.

"She was cool." he said, looking down at his drink.

"He said about eight words to her, altogether." Ricky mused. "Most of which were _um_."

Elias smiled. "Then is your problem shyness?"

Ricky laughed, loud even through the hubbub of the pub. "Robbie isn't shy." He grinned. "Awkward, maybe."

"Was shy around her." Robert told his beer.

"You didn't seem shy last Friday." Elias said and it was almost posed as a question.

"Nah." Robert agreed, taking a sip. "Well. A bit. At first." He frowned, thinking back. "But my sister's sent me on so many dates now, the novelty's worn off."

The other two laughed.

"Besides," Robert continued. "Elise felt like a mate more than anything."

"Lovers are friends." Ricky said wisely and Robert flicked him on the ear.

Elias breathed out a small laugh. "From where I was sat," He said. "she was clearly interested." He took a sip. "If that helps."

Robert blinked at the glossy, wooden table. "Clearly interested." He repeated. "Hey, how d'you tell that sort of thing?"

Ricky snorted. "Your other problem is that you're _dense_." He sighed. "You keep missing chances."

Elias laughed. "Is that right?"

Ricky nodded deeply as Robert made a vague noise of objection.

"She was complimenting you a fair bit." Elias said. "Surely you noticed that?"

Robert cast his mind back. True, Elise had said a lot of nice things; that his hobby of cooking was _awesome! I'd love my fella to cook_ , for instance. But she was just being friendly. "Suppose." Robert said. "But I don't think it was... flirting."

Ricky snorted to himself while Elias's lips twitched. "Did you notice how she was looking at you, then?"

Robert chewed his lip. She'd been looking at him... with her eyes? "She had nice eyes." He tried and Ricky made another amused sound.

Elias chuckled. "She barely took her eyes off you." He said. "She was leaning into your space; she kept touching you-"

"-mate, you've got me confused with someone." Robert cut in. Elise hadn't touched him, had she?

"Have I?" Elias's eyebrows rose. "You didn't notice the hand on your arm every time she laughed?" He asked. "She even touched your thigh when she leant over to ask me about the hiking trail in Melby Park."

Now that he mentioned it... Robert cocked his head to the side. "Huh."

Ricky dropped an arm over his shoulder. "Three more dates," He started, "doesn't seem so bad, huh?"

"Dunno mate." Robert scratched his eyebrow. "Can't help not fancying her, even if she fancies me."

Ricky clicked his tongue and took a swig of his beer.

"Three more dates and you might start fancying her." Elias told him.

Robert sighed. Maybe.

They got another round and talked of more interesting things. By the end of the night, they'd exchanged contact details and promised to meet up again sometime soon.

Stumbling home with Ricky, Robert decided Elias was a good guy. A great guy, even. They would be solid friends, he was sure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Elias!" he said before the other man had a chance. "Helll- _oh_! I'm'a ques'ion. F'r you." Robert told him, watching his ceiling swirl about. "Or... the." What was he talking about?

Annette was two centimetres shorter than Robert; standing at a mildly impressive 178. That meant Robert, of course, was a mildly more impressive 180. Their father was a genuinely impressive 191 while their mother was a depressing 160.

Height was something Robert had always been fond of. He was the second tallest of his friends. Yusuf was 188. Charlie was a hilarious 165, but the teasing had long since died down. Besides, Charlie suited being short.

But Robert didn't consider himself _tall_. In fact, he'd happily grab another 10 or 15 centimetres, were they presented to him. He did consider Annette tall, however. Something about her long limbs, maybe. Or the high-heels that always put her above Robert.

She poked around in his fridge.

Robert watched her, unimpressed. His arms were folded over his chest and he was leant on the breakfast bar, kettle happily heating up opposite him. "What're you looking for?" He asked. "Since it's, uh, _my_ fridge, I might know where it is."

"Robbie, chilli sauce goes in the cupboard." she sighed, pulling his bottle of sriracha from its little nook.

Robert scowled. "Leave it alone."

She ignored him, depositing it firmly in his cupboard.

He set his jaw and made plans to immediately return it to safety once this intruder left. "How's Dave?" He asked, not particularly keen on an answer.

"He's doing well." Annette told him, pulling open his vegetable drawer and getting a carrot. "He's coming up for a promotion."

"Oh how nice."

Annette moved to his drawers and got herself the peeler. She'd always snacked on carrots and Robert had always hated it. "With the pay-rise, it won't be long before when can get a deposit together for a place closer to the city."

"Oh right." Robert pushed off the counter and grabbed their mugs. "That's cool." He got the teabags ready. "Why d'you need to be closer to the city?"

"In zone for the good schools." she answered as if it were nothing, dropping carrot peelings in the compost.

Robert blinked at her. "Annie-" He felt a smile burst onto his face and reached forward to touch her belly. "-you're having a baby!"

Annette swatted his hand away with a short snort. "Not yet." She took the first bite of her carrot. "We're planing ahead."

"Oh." Robert's smile faded. "I was excited."

She considered him for a while, chewing. The kettle boiled and she said, "You won't be a very good uncle."

Robert scoffed, pouring them both tea. "Shove off."

"I'm not teasing." she told him. "You're not very responsible."

Robert shot her a hurt look. "Yeah. So I'll be a fun uncle; give your child a break."

She set her lips in a thin line and looked away. "Dave proposed on Tuesday night."

Robert's eyes widened. She said it so matter-of-factly. Like it wasn't a milestone; like it wasn't a massive deal; like she wasn't even _bothered_. "That's amazing!" He grinned, hoping to provoke a more human reaction out of her.

She glanced at him, inhaling through her nose. "It is." And there it was; the soft curl of her lips. "It wasn't a surprise. We've been discussing it for the last year."

Robert snorted. "Don't suck the fun out of even this." His eyes found her hands. "Where's your ring?"

"We're buying it together on Sunday."

"How romantic."

She shot him a withering look. "It's sensible."

"Right." Robert hummed. Always so _sensible_. "Told mum and dad yet?"

"No." Annette continued her carrot. "I'll ring them later."

"Annie," Robert started, "I'm well pleased for you." 

She looked at him and it was, for once, rather gentle. "I know."

And so, the siblings sat at the breakfast bar and enjoyed a Thursday night cup of tea. It wasn't long until the conversation drifted toward Robert's love life and he managed to distract Annette twice before she cottoned-on.

"Robert, you don't make this easy for yourself." she said.

"Huh?" Roberts brain ticked while he caught up. "Yes I do."

"So you've been texting?" Annette asked. "That's good."

Robert just looked at his breakfast bar.

"Get her some flowers next time you meet up." she instructed. "Which is when?"

"Um..." Robert weakly began.

Annette didn't wait for him to finish. "Text her now." She watched Robert reluctantly pull out his phone. "Ask her what she's doing on Saturday."

"I'm meeting a friend on Saturday." Robert said, pulling up his and Elise's message log.

"Sunday then." Annette amended. "What friend? _Ricky_?"

Robert sighed. She really didn't like Ricky, huh? "A new friend."

Her neat eyebrows quirked. "Oh? What does he do?"

"He's a bin man." Robert said, in order to watch her face twist in displeasure. He laughed. "Nah. He's, um..." What was it again? "in finance."

"Oh." Annette's face returned to normality. "Well. Good. What's his name?"

"Elias." Robert hummed. They'd been idly texting last night and had somehow formed plans to visit the museum. Robert despised the museum.

"Sounds like a good guy." Annette said and Robert knew if it was Elias the bin man, he would sound like a wanker. "Text Elise now."

He sighed and sent a short but sweet message, reading:

iMessage

Today, 5:47 PM

Hey :) are u free on Sunday? Lets meet up!

"Good." Annette nodded as bubbles appeared, signalling that Elise was typing.

Soon enough came an even shorter, sweeter response:

iMessage

Today, 5:47 PM

Would love to! x 

Annette eyebrows rose calmly. "She likes you."

"So I've been told." Robert murmured, running a hand over his blond hair. "How do I respond?"

Annette instructed him and he followed:

iMessage

Today, 5:47 PM

Great

Lets grab lunch? 1pm at vivace :)

Her reply was near immediate:

iMessage

Today, 5:47 PM

Perfect! Can't wait :D

Robert didn't even like Vivace's food. He sighed and tucked his phone away.

"Good." Annette nodded beside him. "I think this is it, Rob."

Robert just lay his forehead on the cool countertop and felt sorry for himself.

* * *

Friday night drinks hit different, Robert thought. Of course, he didn't go drinking every night - most often he found himself going once, _maybe_ twice, a week - but this was what he had found over the years:

Saturday night drinks were reckless and loud. They meant stumbling home well past bedtime with either Ricky, Casey or Yusuf. They meant falling out of trees around the one AM mark and crying with laughter at how close someone had come to breaking a bone.

Sunday night drinks were mellow and musing. They seldom took place in a pub and usually lead to philosophical discussions on the nature of life. Robert was rather fond of them.

Monday night drinks were either sad, hilarious or a strange mixture of both. He only drank on a Monday night if somebody was working past a roadblock. Monday night drinks didn't take place in a pub either, but often a flat. Yusuf's flat, mainly.

Tuesday night drinks were laid-back and fun. They distracted one from the knowledge that it was still the start of the week; bringing some illusion of freedom and happiness. It was semi-rare that Robert found himself going out on Tuesday night.

Wednesday night drinks were filled with trivia and competition. An almost-frequent happening, Wednesday night drinks took place solely at the Lion Wrestler. The quizmaster there was a proper laugh.

Thursday night drinks were uneventful. Oddly, and Robert had never figured out why, Thursday seemed the day they were all immune to getting drunk. They were calm, wind-down nights, great for catch-ups and chatting but not much else. 

And Friday night drinks. Friday night drinks were a mixture of it all. They were loud and happy, full of friends and laughter. They were, initially at least, easy-going with room for varied discussions. A sense of fun followed Robert throughout the night, led on perhaps by the promise of the weekend. But sometimes they could be depressing; another week passed by without so much as a wave.

This Friday night, fortunately, was anything _but_ depressing as they watched Yusuf let loose on the dance floor.

The Lion Wrestler had a decently sized dance floor, to the left of the bar, not far from their go-to table. It was rather packed tonight, mostly with scantily dressed youths, although the odd boomer could also be spotted rocking away to some sort of alternate-reality pop. Robert wasn't sure who was in charge of the music here, but wanted strong words with whoever they were.

He was sat with Ricky and Casey. Ricky was grinning from ear-to-ear as Yusuf bumbled about the dance floor and Casey was snorting into his pint. Robert was doing some mixture of the two.

Yusuf, of course, was a tall bloke. He was a PE teacher at a local high-school. Indeed, not all PE teachers are built, but they usually have some air of fitness surrounding them. You'd expect no less from Yusuf and each of his 188 centimetres. Alas, the word that best described the Turk was gangly. He was nothing more than a beanpole; his limbs spindly and lanky.

But what relevance did Yusuf's - through no fault of his own - twiggy body have to do with anything? 

It was, objectively and entirely without malice, comical. In terms of dancing, at least. The spectacle was bettered by the fact that Yusuf's dancing was painfully lacking. He was awkward where he should be smooth. His large feet stumbled across the floor and his skinny body swayed worryingly, giving surrounding dancers the sense that Yusuf would topple over with the faintest gust of wind.

Yusuf, being a man of above-average intelligence, was incredibly aware of what a fool he looked. At first, he'd been shy and embarrassed, but as the months had turned to years and his love of dance refused to waver, shame had morphed into confidence. He took pride in his terrible moves. And this confidence was nothing short of charming.

Robert found something ineffably beautiful about the whole thing. The disregard of external opinion in favour of simple, untouched enjoyment; uncomplicated, _pure_ joy. Robert never got tired of witnessing it. 

It was while fumbling to unlock his front door that he revisited the idea.

Robert wasn't _happy_ in his life, but nor was he _unhappy_.

He woke up; he went to work; he talked and laughed with mates and he did what his sister instructed. He dropped his keys on the counter and stumbled over to the sofa, flopping down. He did what his sister instructed because she knew what was best for him. She was intelligent, experienced and well put-together. Robert was none of these. Robert was dim, unworldly and sloppy. He needed guidance.

_Living true_.

Did Robert live truthfully?  


Did he chase uncomplicated, effortless, _pure_ joy without fear of judgement?

It was his life, but who was he living it for?

Struck with this sudden torrent of questions he fumbled for his phone, tugging it from the pocket of his jeans. His drunken brain had a hard time deciphering some of the symbols it was confronted with, but Robert navigated his way well enough to the phone app.

"Elias!" he said before the other man had a chance. "Helll- _oh_! I'm'a ques'ion. F'r you." Robert told him, watching his ceiling swirl about. "Or... the." What was he talking about?

"Robert?" Elias asked. "You drunk?"

Life. Joy. Life and joy and why Robert had got it wrong. That was it. "No." Robert swayed as he pushed himself into a sitting position. "I dunno whas, uh, drunk? No. Need t' ask."

There was shuffling in the background and another voice Robert couldn't make out. Elias spoke again, "Listen, Robert, this isn't a good time."

Robert pouted at his blank television. "'Mportant." He said. "So. Shh- jus' listen 'n'..." He waved his hand, making a gesture Elias couldn't see.

"Robert, where are you? Can you make it home?" Elias said and the other voice sounded again.

Robert squinted, catching something that almost sounded like _put it down, come fuck me_. "No I don' wanna-- 'm not-- 'm not 'n the _mood_."

On the other end, Elias sighed. "Hold on." He murmured and Robert didn't think it was directed toward him. More shuffling sounded and Robert connected the dots.

He laughed. "Elias!" He leant back on his sofa, doing his best to whistle. "You- you gettin a bit o' the ol'-- a bit o' the ol' crumpet?"

"Robert-"

"-nah, it- say n' more." Robert slurred. "You jus'- you butter the biscuit, eh?" He laughed to himself. "'M gon'-- have it-- hope it's'good. I wonder- hey, 'Lias how's gay sex- how's it work 'n' all? Don't-- s'it-- 'n the butt-- hurts?"

Elias muttered a curse and there was more shuffling. "Robert, do you need me to pick you up?"

Robert shook his head happily. "'M at m'- 'n m' flat. I own m' flat 'n' it's'where I am. 'N' livin'. So you jus'-" He burped. "-focus on givin' a good dickin'. Or. Maybe gettin' one. I dunno. Whatever you're 'nto. Jus' wanted t' talk t' you but. S'fine." He nodded to himself. "'M gonna eat a-- some ham. Say hi t' your-- friend fr'm me. Your sex friend fr'm me. Hello fr'm Robbie."

"Why don't you have some water instead of the ham?" Elias suggested.

"Mmmokay." Robert staggered up from his sofa. "Yis. Agua. As they say 'n--" He wobbled over to the kitchen. "-Swizzerlind. 'M hangin' up. Might be sick 'n a minute. 'Njoy your sex." He said, before pulling the phone from his ear and squinting at the red button swimming about his screen. Unable to catch it, he settled for locking his phone and sliding it onto the counter.

The nausea in his gut became a little more pronounced as he groped for a glass. Managing to grip one, it clinked loudly against the tap and he flinched at the sound. He managed only a couple of sips before he was careening for the bathroom.

Annette would not be pleased, he blearily thought, looking at the vomit in his loo. He let out a pathetic little whine and leant his head on the cool porcelain.

The night had started well, at least.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert rolled his eyes and waved a dismissive hand. "I mean long-term. You can help me with a long-term thing."

Robert woke to a pounding headache. He squeezed his eyes shut, whimpered and shoved his face into his pillow. Something was making noise. A sort of electronic, beepish kind of-- ringtone. His phone was ringing.

Scowling, Robert felt blindly for the device on his bedside table. Managing to get ahold of it, he rolled onto his back and squinted at the screen. He discovered it was 9:32 and that the person calling was Elias.

Confused, given they weren't meeting until 12, Robert swiped to answer. "Mornin'." He murmured, voice scratchy from sleep.

"Hey, how're you feeling?"

Robert frowned. "I'm alright, you?"

Elias was quiet for a moment. "You sounded pretty drunk last night."

Robert frowned some more. "Yeah?" Had they met up last night? "Gotta say, mate, I don't remember much. I didn't piss you about did I?"

Elias laughed. "Apart from telling me to - and I quote - focus on giving a good dicking, no."

Robert groaned and ran a hand over his face. "Sorry brother."

Elias made a sound of acknowledgement. "Just thought I'd check you're not too hungover."

Robert cautiously pushed himself into a sitting position and yawned. "Just a headache. We're still on."

"Alright."

Robert swung his legs off the bed and stood. "Right, well. See you later then."

"Mm." Elias replied and hung up.

He took a couple of panadols and made himself an omelette, wondering what had led up to his encouraging Elias to have good sex. He hadn't been rude, had he? Or intrusive? He blinked sleepily at his frying pan and tried to think of what the context had been.

He remembered leaving the Lion Wrestler, arm in arm with Ricky. He remembered managing to dissuade Ricky from pissing in an alley. He remembered walking into a lamppost and he remembered watching Ricky unlock his front door. Robert had then gone on himself. He remembered... he remembered unlocking his own front door and... he'd been sick in the loo. He'd lain on the bathroom tiles as well, he thought. But when had he spoken with Elias?

He decided it didn't altogether matter, sliding his omelette onto his plate. Elias was obviously not angry with him, Robert's headache was dying back and his breakfast smelt delicious.

* * *

They'd agreed Robert would pick Elias up because Robert was fond of driving. Elias lived about 15 minutes away, in a smarter neighbourhood. Robert lived in a block of flats. He'd bought a single-bedroomed one as soon as he could afford it because Annette had told him it was a good investment. Elias lived in a posh terraced house.

Robert parked and killed the engine. He double-checked he'd got the right address, before hopping out and crossing the road to knock on door number 28.

It wasn't long before footsteps sounded and the door swung open. 

Elias offered him a small smile. "Hey." He looked nice. Slim-fit black jeans, a blue button-up, a black jumper and an army green coat.

Robert gave him a two-fingered salute.

Elias stepped back, "I just need to put my laundry in the dryer. Come in."

Robert grinned and nodded, ducking past him into the hallway.

Not a second had passed when a good-looking German Shepherd came to investigate, tail wagging at the speed of light. "Hello you." Robert murmured, scratching the big dog behind her ears.

Elias closed the door behind him and Robert looked up from the dog. "Do I need to worry about my shoes?"

Elias made a vague noise. "You're fine. Want a brew or anything?"

Robert ran a hand over his hair as he followed him into the kitchen, Beef on his heels. "I'm alright, thanks." He slid onto a stool at the breakfast bar, watching Elias transfer his laundry out of the machine and into the dryer. "Hey,"

Elias hummed and Beef snuffled about the kitchen.

"can I, um, ask about last night?"

Elias laughed. "If you want."

Robert watched him straighten up and set the dryer. "Why... did I tell you to, um - quote, unquote - give a good dicking?"

Elias turned to face him. He rubbed his nose. "When you rang, I uh..." He frowned, breaking-eye contact. "was in the middle of something. And then you started to sound like you might need picking up and he got kind of bratty, which you heard. And once you'd put the pieces together," He snorted, looking back to Robert. "you were made up."

Robert groaned softly. "I say anything weird?"

Elias hummed, moving to grab his keys and wallet off the side. "Said something about crumpets. Asked me how gay sex worked, then told me to say hi to my partner from you." He slipped his phone into his back pocket. "Which I didn't do, you'll be pleased to know."

Robert laughed weakly, hopping off his stall as Elias started back toward his front door. "Why'd you answer if you were busy?"

Elias slipped on some trainers. "Thought it might be important."

Robert laughed, following him out the door and waiting for him to lock up. "It's me, how important could it be?"

Elias didn't really reply to that, just made a small, ambiguous sound.

"So," Robert said as they both took to his car. He started the engine and tried to think of the best route to the museum. "are you dating him?"

"No." Elias said.

"Friends with benefits?" Robert inquired, slowing for the turning off Elias's road.

"One night stand." Elias answered.

Robert gave way to a Volvo. "Friday night fun." He grinned, throwing Elias a wink.

Elias snorted lightly.

* * *

The museum was a nice building, for those who enjoyed that sort of thing. It was an old, decorative structure; lots of concrete columns and fancy stonework. Inside was surprisingly modern and filled with people. Lots of young families, lots of students and lots of couples.

They both got their tickets before moving past the foyer and into the first room. A room about South West wildlife. Robert looked at a model of a bird and wondered what he'd got himself into.

"Anywhere you want to start?" Elias asked him.

Robert swallowed a sigh. "I'm easy mate." He was already beginning to feel part of himself wither away. "Lead the way."

Elias watched him for a moment. He seemed amused when he looked away again. "Alright." He started to the large, open doorway on their left. "What do you do when you're with your other friends?"

Robert skipped to walk in step with him. "Oh. Uh." What did they do? "Drink and chat." That was about it, really. "Sometimes we'll cook for each other. Paint balling here and there."

"Paint balling?" Elias repeated.

"Ooh. Egypt." Robert looked about this new room, filled with mummies and other bits and bobs. "Uh. Paint balling." He followed Elias to the closest display cabinet. "Yeah. I say here and there, but it's more like every two years. Good fun though."

"Doesn't it hurt?" Elias asked, eyes on an inscription below a little carving.

Robert shrugged. "Nah, it's alright. You wear the proper clothes and know what to expect." He watched Elias continue to read about whatever it was he was reading about. "What do you do with your friends?"

"Drink and chat." Elias mimicked, eyes moving back up to the carving. "Go out for food. Nothing special."

Robert smiled to himself. "Time with ones you love is always special." He said sagely.

Elias snorted and shouldered him. "Piss off."

Robert laughed, following as they moved deeper into the room.

* * *

The museum's cafe was small, overpriced and sold miniature quiches. Robert side-eyed Elias from where they were stood before the display cabinet. He was using all his energy to send psychic waves to him. Elias was frowning at a savoury muffin.

Finally, Robert decided he just couldn't risk it and spoke up. "Uh. Hey. I know a- I know a nice cafe. That isn't this one."

Elias glanced at him, eyebrows rising. "Oh." He nodded. "Sure, I'm easy."

Thus, not 15 minutes later, they were sat opposite each other in a cafe Robert had never seen before in his life. It was named _Espresso-ly for You_ , though, which was surely a good sign.

"Know what you want?" Robert asked, eyes on his menu. He liked the sound of the chilli scrambled eggs.

Elias hummed. "Do you?"

"Hey, what's gee-no-chi?"

Elias blinked at him, "I'm sorry?"

Robert squinted at his menu. "Yeah. Gee-no-chi. Gi-no-chi, maybe?"

Elias's eyes fell to his own menu. "Gnocchi?"

Robert looked at him. "Nyokie?"

"Gnocchi." Elias's lips twitched. "It's Italian."

"Oh." Robert set his menu down. "Well. I'll have Italian Gnocchi, then."

Elias smiled and looked back to his menu.

"Reminds me," Robert sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I'm going on date number two tomorrow. At Vivace."

Elias hummed, flipping his menu.

Robert gave another sigh, this one holding a forlorn edge. "Annette said I need to give Elise _flowers_."

Elias laughed softly, finally setting his menu down and looking at Robert. "Annette?"

"My sister." Robert explained.

"I think," Elias started, "flowers are a bit much for the second date."

"Right!" Robert agreed emphatically.

Elias leant back in his seat. "Do you actually want a girlfriend?"

"Dunno." Robert shrugged. "Not really. But it wouldn't hurt, I suppose." He let his head fall back and looked at the ceiling. "‘Sides, I haven't had sex in... what, seven months-"

"-ready to order lads?"

Robert's head snapped up and Elias laughed. The server's smile held a gleam of amusement and Robert felt his cheeks warm.

"Chicken salad and cappuccino for me, thanks." Elias smoothly requested.

"Sure thing." the server scribbled it down, before looking to Robert. "And what are you having, blue balls?"

Robert scowled. "Oi! I'm not--" Actually, he'd rather not discuss his sex life with a stranger. "-I'm, um, having the Italian gnocchi. And a mocha."

The server snorted. " _Italian gnocchi_ , no problem." He stepped back. "Won't be long fellas."

Elias poured them both water. "I don't know if you want my advice but," He pushed Robert's glass to him. "a relationship can't be forced. You need to want it."

Robert numbly picked up the water and gazed into it. "Yeah. Makes sense and all." He put it back down and scrubbed a hand over his hair. "But I don't rightly _know_ what I want."

Elias smiled and took a small sip of his own water. He swallowed. "So try things out. You‘ll know if it's right or wrong."

Robert looked at him and wondered. "You like being single?"

"Depends." Elias said. "I'm less pressured and I'm less obligated. But there's a certain comfort in having a boyfriend. Or-" He made a distracted hand gesture. "-partner."

Robert nodded. "Alright." He nodded once more. "Alright. I'm gonna do this."

Elias raised his eyebrows in question.

Robert grinned at him. "I'm gonna woo Elise and do it properly. She'll get comfort from me and I'll get comfort from her."

Elias snorted. "Okay."

"Oh, hey." Robert leant his elbows on the table. "Why don't you help?"

Elias tilted his head to the side, curious.

"I mean," Robert's smile turned sheepish. "I'm obviously a disaster in the, um, romantical department, and my sister's advice scares me. And my other friends don't have any faith." He said. "But you're, y'know..."

Elias's lips curled upward. "What?"

"You _know_..." Robert hunted for the word. "experienced." He tried. "Or. I mean. You seem to know what you're talking about."

Elias snorted softly. "I told you last time. Elise is already interested; you don't need help _wooing_ her."

Robert rolled his eyes and waved a dismissive hand. "I mean long-term. You can help me with a long-term thing."

"Alright." Elias chuckled. "But I'm not promising any results."

Robert grinned and sat back. "Alright. Excellent. Cool." His grin seemed to be stuck to his face. This was a positive turn of events indeed. "Lovely. Cheers mate."

Elias just shook his head and smiled quietly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His eyes dipped to Elias's lips; slightly parted. He wondered how it would feel to kiss them.

Elise laughed, soft and sweet. "Is that right?"

Robert felt himself smile. "Yeah, the secret's in the sauce."

Elise hummed, leaning in to get a better look at the sauce pan.

It had been going on one and a half months since Robert had decided to put serious effort into the dating thing. Annette was pleased with him and Robert found himself cheerful more often than not.

Of course, Elias had been a big help. Where Annette told Robert to call her daily, Elias suggested he demonstrate actual interest in Elise - ask her questions; _listen_ to what she said. Robert thought he saw Elias just as often as Elise. Probably more, to be honest.

Robert considered him a proper friend already and he couldn't remember ever growing so close with someone so fast. Even with Ricky, they'd taken some 6 months to truly bond.

Spending time with Elias was easy and fun. He was kind and calm and had an air of softness which Robert found pleasant. He'd even introduced Elias to Annette. Though, it had been an accident.

Robert had invited Elias and Beef over for dinner - a nice, causal meal between friends. Annette had turned up unannounced in order to give Robert some of Dave's old clothes (including - no word of a lie - a _suit_. What Annette expected him to do with a suit, Robert couldn't begin to fathom).

She had blinked at the dog standing behind Robert in the doorway, displeasure creeping across her face. Just before she could scold him, however, Robert had assured her it wasn't _his_ dog.

Thus, Annette had poured herself a glass of wine and chatted with Elias for going on 20 minutes. Robert knew what it was. She was assessing him; checking he was a sensible person; a good influence.

Apparently satisfied, she'd quietly said _he's nice_ to him as Robert walked her out. Robert had beamed for the rest of the evening.

But back to Elise. One thing they had not yet done was kiss. Rather, they'd kissed but they hadn't _kissed._ Robert had given Elise a few clumsy pecks on the cheek but had hesitated to go near her mouth. He was a little worried.

He stepped back from the workbench and handed Elise the knife. "You try." He told her. "Dice them to, uh, fingernail size."

Elise nodded and lifted her left hand up to hold the onion in place.

Robert watched and found her technique good. He shifted his gaze to the size of her face.

Elise was beautiful. It was a conclusion he'd drawn not long after getting to know her. More than her pretty features and soft hair, Elise was _nice_. She laughed freely and often. She was playful and cheeky. She was intelligent. She was kind and she was giving. Robert really liked her.

But he still wasn't sure he _fancied_ her. He was a little worried about this, too.

His phone dinged and he fished it out.

MESSAGES now

**Elias** 🐕

Hey, question

Suddenly smiling, Robert swiped to open their log.

iMessage

Today 5:31 PM

Go on

Bubbles appeared preceding Elias's response.

iMessage

Today 5:31 PM

[picture]

?

Robert frowned at his screen. Elias had sent him a picture of some random man. He was white and ambiguously mid-to-late 20s, with dark blond hair and nice eyes. He was good looking.

iMessage

Today 5:31 PM

?? 

iMessage

Today 5:31 PM

??

????

Robert snorted to himself.

iMessage

Today 5:32 PM

No, but

Might ask him out? Ik he's interested but I'm not sure

He's cute, yeah?

Robert frowned again. He scrolled up and tapped the photo to get a closer look. _Cute_. He ran his eyes over the man's face. Now that he was properly assessing it, he wasn't actually _that_ good looking. In fact, Robert found he didn't like the looks at all. No. There was something fishy about the man's expression. 

iMessage

Today 5:32 PM

Idk

I'm not good judge

He chewed his lip, watching Elias's bubble.

iMessage

Today 5:32 PM

Unhelpful Robbie  😟 😟

I'm asking for ur opinion

Robert thumbed the edge of his phone and became aware that his mood had dropped. Maybe it was guilt; Elias had helped Robert so much with his love life, Robert could surely return the favour. He swallowed.

iMessage

Today 5:32 PM

He's fit

Go for it

If u guys click, u click right?

iMessage

Today 5:32 PM

Alright

Thanks ;)

Robert sent a quick, suggestive emoji back, before shoving his phone away and glancing back to Elise.

"Nice." Robert told her, nodding to the diced onion. "Guess you really do know your onions, huh?" It was an awful - for want of a better word - joke.

Nonetheless, Elise gave a little giggle because she was sweet that way. "And these go in the pan?"

"You have a chef's intuition." Robert teased.

She rolled her eyes and added them. "Was that Annette?" She asked, poking the saucepan's contents with the tip of a knife.

"Elias." Robert corrected, pushing off the counter to grab her a wooden spoon. "Think he's got a date."

"Oh, how nice!" Elise accepted the spoon with shining eyes. "We should do a double date sometime."

Robert blinked at her. "Eh?"

"It'd be fun!"

Robert's gut did a strange, pathetic sort of slump. "Um. Well. If- if he's keen, I suppose it, um, wouldn't hurt."

Elise beamed.

Robert sighed. "So, now we let that caramelise for a bit."

* * *

"Nobody with a soul likes coleslaw." Robert told Annette with a wrinkled nose, stripping off his jacket and dropping it on the kitchen counter.

"Take it off the bench Robbie, it's not hygienic."

"How dare you, I'm _clean_ -"

"-put it somewhere else." Annette didn't even look up from shredding cabbage.

Feeling insulted, maltreated and ever so hurt, Robert swiped his lovely, fresh, clean jacket from the kitchen counter and dropped it instead on Annette's L-shaped sofa.

"Hey, Annie, I'm going on a double date." Robert said, moving over to her fridge to see if he could find some beer.

"Double date?" Annette repeated, looking over with a displeased expression. "So juvenile."

"Elise is excited." Robert mumbled, getting himself a can. He and Dave had very few things in common, but they did both like Asahi.

Annette hummed, stepping back and moving to wash her hands quickly. "Who with? Not _Ricky_?"

Robert opened his can with a satisfying hiss and leant on the breakfast bar. "No not," He had a quick sip, swallowed and imitated Annette, " _Ricky_."

"It's impolite to mock people." Annette told him, moving back to her chopping board and starting on the carrot. But Robert, with going on 26 years of experience, could spot the ever so faint glimmer of amusement in her expression.

He had another swig. "Nah. It's with Elias."

"Oh." Annette nodded. "I didn't know he had a girlfriend."

Robert watched the back of her head and hesitated.

Of course, Annette had her biases and Robert really wasn't sure if queer folk were among them. They'd never discussed it; it wasn't a part of their world. But Annette _liked_ Elias and Robert didn't want to ruin her good opinion of him. He took another gulp of beer, before setting his can down beside him.

"Well, um. He doesn't." he started, watching the _chop, chop, chop_ of Annette's knife. "He's gay."

Annette's chopping didn't so much as falter and relief flowed through him. "You never said. What's his boyfriend like?"

Robert's relief morphed into something a little different. "Um. Well, it's not-- I wouldn't say it's his _boyfriend_." He said, dropping his eyes to his mismatched socks. "But. Um. I haven't met him." His big toe poked out of a hole. "He's called _Jared_." For the record, Robert loathed the name Jared. It brought to mind a block of concrete. "He has big ears."

Annette added the shredded carrot to the bowl with the cabbage. "Why are you so..." She threw an unimpressed look over her shoulder. "mopey? Didn't you just say you were excited?"

"I'm not mopey." Robert told her mopily. "And I said _Elise_ was excited." He let out a long, hard sigh, head falling back to look at Annette's ceiling. "I just... I'm sure Elias could do better like."

"Well, it's not your choice." Annette said and that was that. "Get the mayonnaise from the fridge, Robbie."

_His choice._ Robert considered the bottle of mayonnaise, nestled amongst other condiments.

If it was his choice, Robert wondered who he'd pick for someone as good as Elias. Ricky was a strong contender because Robert trusted him with his life. But the thought of it still didn't sit right with him.

* * *

It was Friday night and Ricky, Robert and Elias were squished on Robert's sofa. Robert was knitting Ricky a beanie. Casey and Yusuf were sprawled on the floor complaining about being uncomfortable. Gandalf fought the Balrog of Moria on-screen.

" _You! Shall not_!!" Ricky said along with the wizard. " _Pass_!!!"

"Wish I was a goblin." said Casey.

"Get off my foot." said Yusuf.

Robert shifted his legs, sandwiched between two of his friends. Ricky smelt like cheesy Doritos. Elias smelt like aftershave. He poked Yusuf in the back with his toe. "Hey lads," He started and received various hums in response. "lads excluding Elias," He continued, throwing Elias a grin.

Elias smiled quietly, using the armrest to lean his head on his palm.

"you ever thought about um." Robert squinted at his knitting. "I mean... like..." He paused. He was going to ask if they'd ever thought about other men. Like, _thought_ about other men. Was it still straight for a straight bloke to _think_ about other men? Not that Robert really did. And not that being straight was very important, either. He was just curious. "actually. Never mind. It's weird."

"Bobby, you can't do that." Casey threw over his shoulder.

"Unless he's building suspense." Yusuf murmured, eyes glued to the telly.

Robert laughed. "I'm not. It was just a weird thought. I- honestly, you're not missing out."

Casey clicked his tongue.

Silence fell as the Fellowship mourned Gandalf on TV.

Robert let out a little breath. He stopped knitting and side-eyed Elias.

Elias was watching the TV just like the others. His brows were furrowed ever so gently and Robert felt something warm build in his chest at the concentrated expression. His eyes dipped to Elias's lips; slightly parted. He wondered how it would feel to kiss them.

"Oh." Robert looked back forward. His heartbeat had picked up. He stood, ignoring the four pairs of eyes now fixed on him. "I need..." He was suddenly very confused. "to buy some. Milk." He stepped over Casey and Yusuf and dropped his knitting on a stool beneath the breakfast bar. "I need milk to make tea." He rambled on. "And I need tea to live a good and prosperous life." He felt like he'd been thrown into an alternate reality. "Um. And that is why I'm. Going out. Now."

"Robbie, you have plenty of milk." Ricky told him. He almost looked concerned.

"No." Robert replied. "I um. Need... oat milk." He swiped his keys and wallet from the counter. "Um."

Elias stood up. "I'll come."

Robert felt like a shrivelled carrot. "That's really not... necessary." He tried weakly.

Elias didn't respond to that, just stepped over Casey and Yusuf as well.

Robert swallowed. Tried to think of something to say. Couldn't. So turned and made for his door.

There were a few confused murmurs from his other friends.

He could feel Elias behind him.

It was quiet as the two of them pulled their shoes on and left Robert's flat. Robert did not know, in any sense of the words, what was happening. He disliked oat milk with a most fervent passion.

"You alright?" Elias asked mildly as they came to the stairwell.

Robert swallowed. "Um." He frowned at his shoes. Was he alright? He wasn't _not_ alright. "I'm just..." He eyed the railing. "just knackered."

Elias hummed.

"So," Robert cleared his throat. "hey. Um. How'd you know you were gay?"

"How?" Elias echoed. He made a small, considering sound. "How'd you know you were straight?"

Robert let out a very odd laugh. It was rushed, higher than usual and came out almost panicked. "Yeah. Right. Um." He swallowed and looked at concrete step after concrete step. "It's something you just..." He frowned. "know."

Elias hummed in agreement.

Robert chewed his lip.

It was quiet between them until they turned onto the footpath, in the direction of the shops not 10 minutes away.

"So." Robert put a smile on and knocked Elias's shoulder. "Tell me about Jared."

"Oh." Elias frowned and looked forward. A lamppost flickered ahead of them. "We met through a friend. He's nice."

Robert kept smiling despite the desire to stop. "And how was date number one?"

"Alright." Elias nodded. "He's sweet."

"So you like him?" he asked. "Like him a lot?"

Elias made a noise in response and Robert didn't know if it meant _no_ or _yes._ "How's Elise?"

"Oh right." Robert frowned. "Good."

"Broken your seven-month abstinence?"

Robert couldn't help laughing. "Piss off mate." He grinned. "It's not like _that_."

"What's it like then?"

"Just didn't get round to any sexy time." he said, running a hand over the back of his head with a sigh. "Been busy like."

"Okay." Elias accepted. "But now you've broken your streak?"

"Nah." Robert dropped his hand, gut feeling heavy. "To be honest," He swallowed. "I haven't even kissed her yet. I mean _properly_ kissed her."

"What?" Elias looked over at him. "Really?"

"Really." Robert nodded with a grimace.

"Why not?" Elias frowned. "I didn't think you needed advice on even that."

"No, I--" Robert shook his head. "-I can handle that side of things. But it's just..." He trailed off and didn't finish.

"You still don't fancy her." Elias said, looking forward again. It wasn't a question.

Robert bit his lip.

"What's your type, Robbie?" Elias asked after a long while.

"My type." Robert repeated, feeling numb. "I like." What did he like? He didn't even know. He cast his mind to previous crushes or hook-ups. "I like softness. I like humour. I like it when she doesn't take herself seriously. But, you know, she's serious when she needs to be. I like being able to talk. About anything. I like a gentle voice. I like laid-back girls." He thought about the kind of looks he usually went for. "Guess I like long legs." He said. "Collar bones. Shoulder-length hair is my favourite. Height. Nice lips."

Elias made a noise of acknowledgement and his walking slowed until they both stopped.

Robert sent him a confused look.

Elias was watching the road. His brows were drawn again.

"Alright mate?"

Elias's brows twitched. "Yeah." He murmured. "Mate." He tacked on and Robert hadn't heard him use that word before. Elias took a step back. He glanced at Robert, ran his eyes over his face and took another step back. He let out a wry, breathless laugh. "Fuck."

Robert blinked at him. "Elias, brother, what- what's up?"

Elias ran a hand over his face and shook his head. "Nothing. I'm fantastic." He muttered. "Listen, Robert, I'm gonna... head home."

Robert felt himself frown. "Eh?"

Elias fixed his eyes on something over Robert's shoulder. "I just- I need to... figure something out."

"Let me help." Robert offered instinctively. "Even with my walnut brain."

Elias let out another dry laugh. "I don't think you're the right person."

Hurt stabbed across Robert's chest and his frown became a scowl. "Right. Cheers."

Elias just sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said and Robert remembered the bloody fucking double date they had. "Take care." Elias said. "Brother."

Robert didn't reply, just watched Elias turn back the way they'd come and felt like someone had put a bunch of fishing sinkers in his chest.

Well then.

What the hell?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared had an arm around Elias's shoulders and was talking about football. Robert didn't like football. Elise didn't like football. Elias didn't like football. Robert picked at his nails and wondered why it was, then, that Jared was talking about bloody football.

They'd decided on lunch for the double date. It seemed somehow less pressure than an evening thing.

Elise came over to Robert's so they could go together. She was wearing these cute denim dungarees and a stripy long-sleeve. Robert was wearing an old shirt and some jeans.

"...was because someone threw a pencil at him." Elise was saying, watching Robert quickly tidy his bedroom. "And I'm sure it was an accident, but it's hard to tell with kids sometimes. Anyway," She sighed. "suddenly he was _screaming_ and it took about ten minutes to calm him down."

Robert smoothed out his duvet. "Sounds, um. Stressful."

"Yeah." Elise agreed, watching him straighten up. A flicker of a frown ran across her face and she looked away. "Ready?"

Robert nodded and tried a smile. "As I'll ever be."

And so, they started to the designated location; a gastro pub about a 15 minute walk from Robert's flat.

He held Elise's tiny hand and wondered if he was doing the wrong thing here.

"Ellie?"

"Robbie?"

Robert laughed. "No, I didn't like that."

Elise laughed too. "What?"

Robert grinned down at her. "Our nicknames rhyme and I hate it."

Elise giggled and swung their hands. "Should I call you Bob, then?"

"Please do." Robert said and it was decidedly sarcastic.

"How about Robin?"

"No thanks."

"Roberta?"

Robert snorted.

"Maybe I'll just call you baby?"

Robert stumbled on a crack in the footpath.

Elise laughed. "That's what happens when your feet are too big."

Robert shoved her lightly. "My feet are _in proportio-_ "

"-you have clown feet." Elise grinned.

"Slander." Robert shook his head with a smile.

Elise hummed and smiled sweetly. A beat passed. "But would that be okay?"

"Hm?"

"If I called you baby?" Elise clarified, looking up at him.

"Oh." Robert said. "Oh. Um." He looked in front of them. "Whatever you want mate." He bit his lip. "I mean." He called Elise _mate_ a lot; Annette would surely flay him alive if she ever happened to overhear. "Um. If it's what you want. Baby." The word rolled awkwardly off his tongue and he wasn't an immediate fan.

Elise just swung their hands some more.

Robert felt guilty.

Maybe he'd ask Elias for advice later.

* * *

Robert sat opposite Jared and Elias sat opposite Elise. The gastro pub was half-full and had a pleasant atmosphere. Save for table number 20, where the atmosphere was tense.

Robert's foot knocked Jared's as he shuffled.

Elise tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Elias was looking out the window.

Jared scratched his nose.

Robert cleared his throat. "So team, what are we drinking?"

"I quite fancy their ale." Elise nodded, pointing on her menu.

Robert looked over her shoulder. "Mmhm." He nodded too.

Elise snorted. "Mmhm, mmhm." She mimicked.

Robert couldn't help laughing and tugged her ponytail.

"I'm fine with water." Jared said.

"I'll get an ale too." Elias said.

Robert nodded. He dropped his eyes to his menu. "Um. Any- anyone know what they want to eat?"

"Robbie, share a cottage pie with me?" Elise asked, showing him her menu and placing her finger beneath the listing.

Robert wasn't a fussy eater when it came to anything but cheese, thus, he grinned and nodded. "Sure thing, baby." He was testing his theory that the word would become more comfortable with use. Like an old pair of slippers.

Elias set his jaw and Robert wondered if he was alright.

Jared cleared his throat and leant his elbows on the table. "How long've you been together then?"

_Together_. "Oh." Robert looked back to him. "Going on two months."

Jared nodded.

Elise smiled.

Elias was looking out the window again.

"You- you, um." Robert often wished he was more gifted in the art of small talk. "You're going out with Elias." What an interesting thing to say.

Jared's lips sort of twitched as he glanced at the man beside him. "Yeah."

Elias looked away from the window. He gave Jared a small, quiet smile and Robert's stomach twisted.

Jared poured them all water. "You're kinda famous Robert."

"I'm not mate." Robert frowned at him, accepting his glass. "I'm just a tradie."

Jared laughed and even Elias, who seemed so preoccupied, managed a snort. "Not like that." Jared said. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh." Robert nodded. "Right." Elias... talked about him? He glanced to where Elias was taking a sip of his water. What kind of things did he say?

"What do you do, Jared?" Elise asked.

Jared apparently worked as an editor in a publishing house. Elise was very interested in this and the two of them chattered away until a waiter came to take their order. Once the waiter left, they fell back into conversation and Robert settled on watching Elise as she laughed and smiled and spoke.

She was such a good woman.

Robert chewed his lip and wondered what Annette would do if he asked to break up.

* * *

Jared had an arm around Elias's shoulders and was talking about football. Robert didn't like football. Elise didn't like football. Elias didn't like football. Robert picked at his nails and wondered why it was, then, that Jared was talking about bloody football.

He flicked his eyes back up to the hand on Elias's shoulder. He found it a bit obnoxious, actually. You didn't see him and Elise cuddling in the middle of a public space. His eyes then fixed on Elias's face. Elias was watching Jared calmly. He wasn't smiling, but his face was soft.

"I need to take a slash." Robert said, standing and shooting Elise a smile before heading to the loos at the back of the pub.

It was while peeing that the thought occurred to him. Was Robert perhaps homophobic? He frowned, tucking himself back in. Although, Elias had never bothered him before. But then again, he'd never been explicitly _gay_ around Robert before.

He washed his hands and considered it. He considered men being in love with other men; women with women and tried to figure out if it bothered him. He really wasn't sure.

"Baby, we're thinking of going to crazy golf after this." Elise said as Robert sat back down. It took him a moment to realise she was addressing him.

"Oh." he said, once the dots had connected. He glanced to an indifferent-looking Elias and then to a cheerful Jared. "Sounds, uh, fun."

* * *

Elias drove them. He had a silver Ford Mondeo. Jared sat in shotgun and Robert and Elise took the back. Elise leant on Robert's shoulder and smiled out the window. Robert distractedly played with her ponytail.

The crazy golf place Jared and Elise had decided on was pirate-themed and Robert's mood immediately climbed as they approached the first course. They'd paired off into couples now; Elias and Jared having their own conversation (about cocktail mixers, it seemed) while Robert and Elise were joking about how they would go about killing someone with a golf club, if beating was out of the question (Robert was thinking he'd poison the club then somehow convince the target to lick it; Elise was explaining some sort of complicated trap, triggered by the swinging of the club).

By the end of the first three courses, Elise was in the lead with only 7, followed by Elias with 10; Jared had 15 and Robert had a miserable 26.

Elias snorted quietly. "There _is_ technique." He said, watching Jared's ball bounce off the hull of a pirate ship.

"Right. Fine." Robert sort of agreed. "The technique is hitting it." He said. "But you can't control _where_ the ball ends up."

Elias laughed and shoved Robert away with a hand on his head. "Sounds like something a loser would say."

Robert laughed himself, ruffling his messed up hair. He threw Elias a grin. "Whatever you say, second place."

Elias huffed out another laugh, though Robert felt it lacked something. "Second place, huh?" Elias murmured, gaze falling on Elise where she was grinning from the other end of the course.

Robert wasn't quite sure what he meant and, therefore, how to respond. So, he went with something safe; humour. "Soon to be third place, actually." He said. "I've purposefully racked up a score; letting you grow complacent like. But now I'm ready to conquer."

Elias snorted. "Is that right?"

* * *

Jared and Elias had gone to buy drinks from the on-site cafe. Elise and Robert sat alone in one of the many small, piratical seating areas.

Robert was thinking about his impressive loss (the gap between him and Elise exceeded 52 in the end). While it was tragic, Robert still felt light and jovial.

"Robbie." Elise was frowning at her feet.

Robert looked down at her.

She looked up at him. Robert didn't like it when she frowned liked this. "Can I ask you something?"

Robert nodded, trying to arrange his features into as open an expression as possible, in order to make whatever this was easier for her.

She chewed her lip, hesitant. And then, "Why- Robbie, why have you never kissed me?"

Robert blinked at her.

She looked away with a tiny laugh. "And it's not-- all I'm-- I don't want to rush you, if you're..." She waved a small hand and looked back to him. "but if- if you're trying to respect me or-- then I want you to know I'm-- I would _like_ to kiss you and-- but-- or if it's something else like you- you aren't... feeling this, then..." She looked at him and Robert really wasn't sure what the expression was.

Either way, his chest felt heavy and guilt snaked through his stomach. "Ellie..."

Her eyes widened and she suddenly held up pacifying hands. "And it- it's okay if you-- we can talk about it later. But, I just," She swallowed. "I just. I didn't know if you were aware of it, or..."

Robert watched her and his chest began to _hurt_.

Maybe, if he kissed her... would things click? Or would Robert just be acting like even more of a wanker than he already was? He wished Elias or Ricky or, hell, even Annette were here to tell him what to do.

Elise let out a small breath. "I didn't mean to-- put pressure on you."

"No. I--" Robert cleared his throat, mind going 100 miles an hour. "-you want to kiss me?"

Elise gave a shy but definite nod.

Robert cleared his throat again.

Elise bit her lip.

Robert looked at her mouth. Would it hurt her less to do this? Or to not? _Was_ she even hurting? Was Robert _hurting_ her? Robert really didn't want to hurt her. He loved Elise. He loved her just as he loved Ricky or Casey or-- Elias. But. Maybe a kiss would change that?

"Alright." he finally broke the silence. "I- can I kiss you?" He asked, eyes flicking nervously back up to hers. "Now?"

Her cheeks went bright red. She sort of smiled, sort of didn't. "Yeah." She nodded. "That would be-- nice."

Robert did his best to smile back, then leant in.

Elise smelt like flowers. It wasn't obnoxiously sweet, like some perfumes, but delicate and subtle. Her lips were soft. But as soon as Robert pressed his against them, he _knew_ it wasn't right. Nothing clicked and it didn't feel like kissing someone was supposed to feel.

Robert's other kisses had been exciting or nerve-wracking or comforting or sexy. This was none of those and Robert had _fucked up_. He'd fucked up big time and it was all on him. Elise was lovely and beautiful and funny and _amazing_. Robert was stupid and clumsy and-

She brought her hand up to stroke his jaw and Robert felt like he'd been slapped.

As gently as possible, he pulled back. She blinked her eyes open and Robert's heart _ached_. He was about to say something - god knows what - when a suggestive whistle beat him to it. He and Elise looked to the source.

Jared had a coke in each hand. "Sorry to interrupt, lovebirds."

Robert straightened and didn't know how to respond. He looked to Elias, holding one dr pepper and one fizzy ribena. His face was unreadable; entirely blank. Robert was thrown. He'd expected, at the very least, raised eyebrows.

Elise, because she was too good for this earth, gave a sweet little laugh. "No apology necessary."

Robert shot Jared a shaky smile and nodded.

God, _why_ was Robert such a prick?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But Robert hadn't called her. And now, looking at Elias stood in his doorway, he wasn't sure why.

It was Sunday. The day after Saturday. And Saturday had been the Day of Disaster. The day of Robert and Elise's first kiss; the day Robert had met _Jared_ ; the day Robert realised he'd made a proper mess.

At first, he'd thought of calling Ricky. Ever reliable, ever able to make Robert laugh and see the bright side. But Robert wasn't sure cheering up was what he needed. So then, he'd considered calling Casey. Ever level-headed and easy-going, ever full of advice. But Robert wasn't sure Casey would really understand. So _then_ , he'd thought of calling Annette. Because Annette was _Annette_. She was Robert's big sister. She was the one who knew what Robert's life was supposed to look like; she was the one who cleaned up after him; she was the one who would _know_ what to do.

But Robert hadn't called her. And now, looking at Elias stood in his doorway, he wasn't sure why.

"I'll put the kettle on." Robert smiled, stepping back. He impersonated an old woman, "Come in, dear, warm yourself by the fire. You must be tired to your very bones. My, it's brass monkeys out there. Come in, love, come in!"

Apart from a small smile, Elias didn't give Robert what he thought the performance deserved.

He bit his lip and closed the door behind him, watching him take off his shoes.

"Gonna use your loo." Elias said.

Robert sighed and headed to the kitchen.

He readied the tea, leant on his counter and waited.

Elias came out after a minute or so and took a stool at the breakfast bar. He raised his eyebrows at Robert.

Robert groaned and rubbed a hand over his face.

It was quiet between them.

Elias was the one to break it. "I don't know what you expected."

Robert looked at him and his gut rolled. Elias looked... unsympathetic. Not that Robert wanted sympathy. That was one of the last things he wanted. But he thought Elias, at least, understood how Robert had got here. And therefore... therefore what? He swallowed and looked to the side. "I like her a lot."

"She likes you a lot." Elias replied and he sounded disinterested.

"Elias." Robert caught his eyes. "Stop-- why..." Elias was always so kind and smiling and soft. Why was he being so... cold?

Elias's eyebrows rose again. " _Why_?" He parroted. "Why what?"

Robert was helplessly confused. He just needed a bit of _advice_. "Why are you being like this?"

Elias let out a dry breath of laughter.

Robert swallowed. "I- listen, mate, I know I've cocked up. Properly. I- but-- I was just trying-"

"-it doesn't matter what you were _just_ trying to do, Robbie." Elias muttered. "You can't rely on other people to tell you how to live your life." He said and his tone was _almost_ familiar. "You need to learn to understand yourself. Otherwise this will keep happening."

The kettle clicked.

"I don't want tea." Elias told him.

Robert swallowed. "Right." He murmured, moving Elias's cup to the side and filling his own.

Elias let out a long, tired sigh. "Okay." He said. "Alright. Talk me through it."

Robert's chest panged. He turned away from his tea and back to Elias. "I-- she's just like Ricky or-- you." He gestured to Elias and Elias's lips pressed together. As if he were angry. Which - Robert swallowed - was fair enough; Elise was just as much his friend, of course he was against Robert messing with her. "And I thought, you know, I _thought_ if I tried-- and treated her well, I thought feelings would develop like." He looked at his grey kitchen tiles. "And I didn't really notice that they weren't, because she's so nice to be with. But it- it's platonic." He chewed his lip and lifted his head again. "And then, obviously, you-- well, I suppose you told me like. And I already _knew_ , of course, but hearing the words made it-- unavoidable. And I- I meant to--" He rubbed his hands over his face. "-but then she asked why I hadn't tried to _kiss_ her and she- so, I thought maybe it would-- maybe that would be the moment when it- it-- you know, I thought maybe that would be the _spark_ moment. But--" He dropped his hands to the counter. "-it felt like nothing. It- it was actually the least I've ever felt kissing someone and-- god, I don't want to _hurt_ her."

"Then tell the truth." Elias sighed. Robert looked at him and found his face, _finally_ , gentle. The familiarity placated the feeling in his chest a little. "Elise isn't the sort of person to get angry over this kind of thing." Elias said. "And if she _does_ , she's well entitled to it. But the more you lead her on, the worse both of you are going to feel in the long-run."

Robert nodded dismally and crossed to his fridge to get some milk. "I know. I really- I know that." He said, grabbing the bottle and uncapping it on his way back to his tea. "But I don't know how to tell her."

" _I'm sorry, this isn't working for me_." Elias said. Robert put his teabag in the compost. " _If you want to remain friends, I'd like that. But I understand if you find it..._ " Elias watched Robert put the milk-top back on. " _difficult._ "

Robert looked at the bottle he held. His stomach sank. He wondered if Elise would-- cry. He put the milk back. "Yeah." He mumbled. "Alright."

"When will you do it?"

Robert let out a long sigh and picked up his mug, resting it against his chest. "I'll call her later. Ask when she has time."

Elias nodded. He watched Robert for a moment, before his lips curled wryly. "You're like an accidental Casanova."

"Am I?" Robert snorted. "One woman hardly qualifies me for that."

Elias just hummed.

Robert decided to lighten the mood. "I liked Jared." He said and it was only a white lie.

"Mm." Elias responded, looking to the side. "He has a nice ass."

Robert blinked. "Oh." He cleared his throat lightly. "I didn't... notice."

Elias laughed softly and it was, Robert was happy to report, a proper, genuine laugh.

Robert grinned. "Hey, Elias?"

Elias looked back, amusement still sitting softly on his face.

Robert wriggled his eyebrows. "Do _I_ have a nice ass?"

Elias rolled his eyes. "You have a _really_ nice ass."

Robert laughed. "Speaking of," He started. "I'm still curious about gay sex and all."

Elias sighed. "Then watch gay porn."

"But that's such a hassle." Robert groaned. "It's easier to ask."

"Fine." Elias said. "What do you want to know?"

"Well..." Robert frowned into his tea. "what does it feel like? I mean, getting it from behind. Seems like it would hurt."

Elias hummed ambiguously. "It shouldn't if you know what you're doing. I've only bottomed a handful of times." He said and Robert looked up.

"Bottomed?"

Elias's lip twitched. "You don't know what it means?"

Robert shook his head.

"The bottom receives; the top penetrates."

"Penetrates." Robert repeated quietly, eyes back on his tea. "So you prefer-- top- topping?"

"Mm."

Robert nodded. And - entirely of its own accord - his mind showed him an image of Elias bending Robert over the nearest item of furniture and-- "Cool." -Robert put down his tea and stared at the floor.

He heard Elias laugh softly. "But bottoming feels good too." He said. "It's- I mean, it's hard to describe. Anal orgasms are completely different to normal ones."

"Cool." Robert repeated, glancing at his leftover dirty dishes. "Cool, cool. Nice." His mind refused to stay in one place and his heart was beating a bit too fast for comfort. "Sounds awesome, brother. That's-- I-- I don't need to know, um, anymore."

Elias made a noise in between a sigh and a laugh. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

Yes, Robert was very uncomfortable but not- "I'm not homophobic." -he said, looking back. He felt very warm and hoped his cheeks weren't pink.

Elias raised calm eyebrows. "I didn't say that."

Robert swallowed. "Well." He nodded. "I-- good."

Elias tilted his head to the side. His brows knitted ever so slightly. "It does, doesn't it?"

"Hm?" Robert's face was definitely more than pink. "No. N- not at all mate. I- it's very comfortable. Cocks and butts and cocks-- _in_ butts. It's," Robert's mind was screaming at him to _shut up_ but he _couldn't stop_. "not uncomfortable in the slightest. In fact, it's a joy to- to hear about. I- I am. I'm not uncomfortable. At all. Mate."

Elias watched him and Robert wanted to jump out the window. Elias looked away. "It's okay if you are." He said. "It's fine." He reiterated and it sounded like he was saying _it's not_.

Robert wilted. "Well." He picked his tea back up. "Um." He swallowed. "How- how's Beef?"

Elias sighed and looked at Robert's breakfast bar, before looking up and smiling. It didn't quite reach is eyes. "She's doing well."

* * *

Elise was coming over for supper. Robert was poking pieces of spaghetti and thinking about Annette. She was going to be so _disappointed_ in him. She was going to ask why he hadn't tried harder. And then she was going to find someone else. And this would start all over again.

A strand of spaghetti broke and Robert absently retracted his spoon.

Next, he thought about Elias. And Jared. And Elias and Jared _together_. And Jared's nice ass.

There was a knock at the door. He sighed and dragged himself over.

He opened it and felt his stomach drop. Elise was wearing a red dress. A _sexy,_ red dress. Her makeup was more than flawless and she had-- she had _flowers_.

"Hey." he said.

She smiled, ducked under his arm and went about taking off her shoes. "Smells good."

Robert closed his door and followed her through to the kitchen.

"Got you these." Elise beamed, setting them on the counter and heading to the cupboard in which Robert kept a vase.

"They're pretty." Robert said.

Elise let out a bubbly laugh, filling the vase. "I was going to buy roses, but I thought it would be a bit much." She told him, coming over with the vase and picking up the bouquet. "Also, roses are weirdly expensive."

"Right." Robert said.

She let out a content sigh and looked at him.

Robert looked back.

Her expression shifted. "Oh." She breathed and just like that, happiness became something awkward and unsure.

Robert cleared his throat. "You- you want a drink?"

"No." she murmured, looking down at herself. "Oh no."

Robert bit down hard on his lip, "Ellie-"

"-I read this wrong, didn't I?" she laughed, glancing back up with pink cheeks. "Yeah." She stepped back and looked around Robert's flat. "Robbie, you don't- you don't have to..." She wrung her hands and her eyes were _welling up_. "I- or, I mean there were mixed signals but I- I did consider that you didn't... and it- I mean... oh no."

Robert stepped forward and felt so bloody _useless_. "I'm so sorry." He tried. "I really- I really am so-"

Elise shook her head, letting out this weird, hiccupy laugh.

"-Ellie, I- I love you." he told her and he doubted she wanted to hear it. "I really, fucking do. But it's not..." He looked to the side and felt a lump in his throat. "I'm sorry."

"No. It-" Elise said. "-I should have-- it's clear you didn't know how to- I should have started a conversation sooner."

Robert moved his gaze back to her.

She blinked a couple of times and Robert was pleased to see the wetness dying back a bit. She smiled, a little bitter but still soft. "It's okay, Robbie."

He nodded numbly.

She cleared her throat. "But I- I'm not staying for dinner."

"Oh." Robert nodded again. "Yeah. Of course."

She smoothed her dress out.

Robert wet his bottom lip. "Do- do you-- I still want you in my life," He started. "is that, um, something you're... okay with?"

Elise laughed, a little breathless but at least it was honest. "Yes, I'm okay with being friends." She said. "But I'd like just- just a bit of time."

"Yeah. Absolutely." Robert said. "What- whatever you need."

Elise bit her lip and ran her eyes over him. "You're a good bloke, Robbie." She told him and his stomach began to twist. "But you really are very dense." She said, lips curling with wry amusement.

Robert didn't know what to do.

"Well." she said abruptly. "I'm off."

"Wondered what the smell was." he replied on instinct and slapped himself internally. It was not the time for lame jokes.

Nonetheless, Elise gave a little snort. Because she was sweet that way

Robert followed and watched her tug her shoes back on. He felt hollow. Like the discarded shell of a hermit crab who'd grown too big.

With shoes on her feet, Elise straightened and gave Robert a sad, soft sort of smile. They just looked at each other for a while, until she said, "You'll find her, mate."

Robert did his best to smile back. His chest twisted harshly.

And then she opened the door and stepped out.

* * *

Annette's lips were set and her eyes were steely.

Robert felt like a spot of mould growing on her lovely, white ceiling.

Dave was cooking for the three of them. He was humming to himself in the kitchen and it made an odd juxtaposition to the siblings in an icy stand-off.

Finally, Robert could no longer take it. "Annie-"

"-you're ridiculous." she cut him off, one hand wrapped delicately around her wine glass. "Relationships _aren't_ like they are in films-"

"-I never-"

"-they require hard work and dedication." Annette gave him no room to argue. "You can't expect fireworks and champagne-"

"-I don't, I-"

"-you're _wasting_ your life-"

"-yes!" Robert finally got in and she stopped. " _My_ life." He told her.

She watched him, face glacial.

He swallowed. "I- I know you're trying to help, Annie," He started, entirely unsure. "but I- I don't think the life you want for me is the life _I_ want for me."

"What are you talking about?"

Robert let out an exasperated breath. "I'm _talking_ about all the- all the pressure you put on me." He said. "To- to buy the right clothes and have the right job and date the right girl but I- I _can't_ \--" His heart was pounding because he'd never stood up to Annette like this before. "-I need to figure it out by myself." He finished in a mumble. "Annie, I always- I just follow the directions everyone else gives me and now I- now I'm _lost_."

"Lost?" she repeated carefully, expression still stony.

Robert made a noise not dissimilar to a whine. "Yeah. Lost. I- I'm confused and I just need to make my- my own decisions. Based on, you know," He made an ambiguous hand gesture. "what _I_ need."

"And what do you need?" Annette asked him, her eyes had softened but not by much. "You need a stable job." She told him. "You need a nice home." She continued. "You need loyal friends." With each statement, her face was becoming less and less likely to make children cry. "And you need someone to lean on. Someone to love you and _look after_ you, Rob." She raised her perfect eyebrows. "Someone to become your family. Do you understand me?"

Robert swallowed and his chest was all tight. "I do." He told her. "Annie, I do. But it-" He took a small breath. "-I just need you to take a step back, please. I don't know if I'm even ready for that kind of relationship. And if I am, I- I don't-- I haven't found the right person to have it _with_."

She took a delicate sip of her wine.

Robert watched her swallow, nerves chasing each other around in his gut.

She put her wine glass down. "I just want to help you." Annette told him, eyes on her clipped fingernails. 

"I know."

She set her lips in a thin line and looked to the side; at an expensive painting that Robert didn't like. "I want you to be happy."

"I know."

"I don't want to be the only person who worries about you."

Robert's heart hurt. "I _know._ "

She let out a short sigh. "You've always been such a pain." She muttered, looking back. She watched him critically for a moment and Robert tried not to fidget. "Fine." Annette finally said. "I'll," Her lips twisted in displeasure. " _take a step back_." She used his words.

Robert let out a small breath of-- relief? Gratitude? Happiness?

She continued to watch him. "But you will ask me for help." She said and it was closer to an order than a suggestion.

He gave a helpless laugh. "If I need it." He nodded. "You know I will, Annie."

She nodded slowly.

He smiled at her. "You're a top big sister."

"You're a frustrating little brother." her lips were - if one were to whip out a microscope - turned very slightly upward.

"Alrighty tighty!" came suddenly from the kitchen. "Supper's ready!" Dave smiled over his shoulder. "For my beautiful fiancé and lovely soon to be brother-in-law!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elias huffed out a laugh and glanced at him, drying his hands on the apron Robert had lent him. A beat passed before Elias looked back to their baking and grabbed the flour. "You're not a back up, Robbie."

It had been 7 weeks.

Robert and Elise were on good terms and spending time together was already natural and easy. He and Annette was also on good terms and, while she still scolded him nigh daily, she really had taken a step back. Robert saw Elias more than he saw anyone else (with the possible exception of Ricky, who hung around like a bad smell). Elias and Jared were still dating. Robert was considering the possibility that he was bisexual.

Ricky picked up a pair of pants, sniffed them, wrinkled his nose and threw them in the dirty pile.

Robert snorted from where he was lain on Ricky's bed.

"But I can appreciate men." Ricky picked up from where he'd left off. They were discussing the possibility mentioned heretofore. "Like, I've checked out a fair few of 'em."

Robert hummed, watching Ricky poke an old crisp packet.

"But I've never wanted to get off with a bloke or anything." he said, bending down and opening the packet. He peered in and pulled out a hula hoop.

"Don't..." Robert said, but it was too late and the hula hoop was devoured. "disgusting."

Ricky ignored him. "But what is it for you?" He asked, standing up and chucking the screwed up packet in the bin, which had been moved to the doorway of Ricky and Emma's bedroom. "You want to, what? Bend a guy over? Have him bend _you_ over?"

Robert groaned. "Mate, you--" He cut himself off. "-some- something like that." He sighed because, despite the inelegance of his phrasing, Ricky wasn't far off.

"So why don't you test it out?" Ricky surveyed the room, before crossing to the other side and picking up a bra and blouse to throw in the dirty pile.

Robert chewed his lip. "Nah."

Ricky snorted. "Then how are you ever gonna know?"

Robert sighed again and looked to the poster of Boyzone Ricky and Emma had stuck to the ceiling above their bed.

He didn't want to explain that there was only one man he had these feelings for. Especially since Ricky _knew_ said man and especially, _especially_ since said man was no longer single. In fact, he and _Jared_ seemed to be getting along fantastically. Robert was absolutely _thrilled_ for him.

"You could use Grindr?" Ricky suggested.

Robert closed his eyes.

Ricky came and flopped beside him. He poked Robert's belly. "Bobby, c'mon, gimme something."

Robert snorted and looked at him. "I'll think about it."

Ricky snorted right back. "I want all the details if you do."

"You detty bugger." Robert joked.

Ricky elbowed him in the stomach.

* * *

Was he perhaps-- no.

Robert handed Elias the sugar. They were making shortbread together on this fine Saturday afternoon. Elias smiled and began measuring it out.

But it would make some kind of nebulous sense, he supposed, if maybe Robert was perhaps - how would one put it? - in lo-- no. No. Absolutely not.

Elias went over by about five ounces.

Robert snorted. "Thought you worked with numbers and all mate."

Elias threw him an amused look, before looking back to the scales.

"Jokes on you, though," Robert said, reaching for the beater. "I like my shortbread sweet."

"That was phrased weirdly." Elias said, lifting the bowl off the scales and accepting the beater.

"Eh?"

Elias's lips twitched. "I like my shortbread _sweet_." He mimicked and it came out suggestive.

Robert snorted and scooped some flour from the open bag to flick at him. "I do not sound like that."

With flour dusting his dark hair, Elias just hummed ambiguously, face soft with amusement as he turned the beater on.

But Robert had never really been... you know, in _love_ , as they say. He'd been very much in _like_ , as they do not say. But love was something he hadn't much experience with. Love of a romantic kind. He was, evidently, an expert in platonic love.

Robert, given the choice, would rather not be perhaps, maybe, quite possibly in love with Elias.

He looked at the mess Elias was making creaming the sugar and butter. A fleck of mixture landed on the tip of his nose and Robert's heart did a sort of tight flip. He shifted his gaze away.

Right.

Well then.

Bugger.

The beater was turned off and Elias set it to the side. "I'll, uh, clean up when we're done." He said, a touch sheepish.

Robert snorted, dropping his eyes to his socks. "Too right you will."

"What's next?" Elias asked around a chuckle.

"Add the flour." Robert said. "Um. I do eight ounces normal and two ounces rice."

Elias hummed and put the bowl back on the scales.

"You have mixture on your nose brother." Robert told him, still looking at his socks. It really was inconvenient to be ambiguously in love with a close friend, who was themselves ambiguously in love with their boyfriend.

"Oh." Elias laughed, swiping it off.

Robert side-eyed him as he licked it off his thumb and decided this love business really wasn't all it was cracked up to be. He settled his gaze on the bowl. "Oh right," He started and was pleased by how casual it came out. "how's that fella of yours?"

Elias moved down the bench to rinse his hands. "He's fine." He said impassively. "He's been busy recently."

Robert laughed. "That why we're hanging out so much?" He said. "I'm the back up?"

Elias huffed out a laugh and glanced at him, drying his hands on the apron Robert had lent him. A beat passed before Elias looked back to their baking and grabbed the flour. "You're not a back up, Robbie."

"Happy to hear it." Robert responded, even as his gut felt heavy.

"So what about you?" Elias asked, watching the scales go up as he shook out the flour.

"Hm?"

"You must be going on," Elias snorted. "ten months without sex."

"It's not that I _can't_ have sex, mate." Robert laughed. "But I've never been a fan of casual hook-ups like." He said, shifting down and getting the kettle to fill up. "Plus there's this cool thing you might not know about," He said, putting the kettle back and flicking it on. He grinned at Elias. "it's called wanking."

Elias rolled his eyes and got the rice flour. "But you don't want to try dating again?" He asked. "It'll probably work out better now your sister's not setting you up."

Robert sighed. "Dunno mate. I'm--" He retrieved their mugs and put a teabag in each. "-I mean, it- it's not something I see for me. At the minute."

"You don't get lonely?" Elias asked, taking the bowl back off the scales and beginning to mix.

Robert wasn't sure. "I got you and Ricky and all." He settled on saying. He watched Elias for a moment, curious. "Hey, 'Lias?"

"Mm?"

"Is sex important to you?" Robert asked.

"Mm." Elias nodded. "You?"

"Nah, I don't think so." Robert nodded and Elias glanced at him, dark eyebrows raised in soft surprise. Robert laughed. "Weird, huh? How different people have different needs like."

Elias just hummed, looking back to their biscuits.

* * *

It was true that sex wasn't a big thing for Robert. As a teenager, he'd wanked _a lot_. Apparently, more than any of his friends put together. Which he'd found embarrassing for a short while but had long since gotten over. With each year that passed, Robert just found himself with so many other things to think about and do. But of course he still had desire and he still enjoyed the odd session here and there.

Robert didn't generally fantasise about anyone in particular while he touched himself. He found it difficult and preferred to sort of shut off his brain and just let himself feel.

Tonight, however, Elias was refusing to leave his mind.

" _Mm shit_." Robert bit the knuckle of his left pointer finger, hips bucking into the fist of his right hand.

He'd tried to start slow; take his time; make it feel proper good. But now he was gripping himself tight and his strokes were fast and clumsy. It was a good thing he lived alone because he'd given up trying to be quiet.

He wasn't even thinking about Elias fucking him, or him fucking Elias. He was just thinking of Elias. Of his deep eyes and pretty lips and soft smile and strong jawline. Of his thick, tussled hair and his nice build; his height, his broad shoulders, his toned arms, his big hands. He thought of Elias's deep voice and the way his laugh sounded and the way he rolled his eyes when he was pretending not to be amused.

He wondered what Elias looked like without a shirt. Without trousers. Without pants--

" _Fuck_." Robert came into his fist and onto his stomach, eyes screwed shut and chest rising and falling with quick pants. His entire body felt warm and sated and really, _really_ good.

When he came back to himself, he couldn't help laughing. It was a short sound, more of a huff than anything. But he found it bizarre and funny and worrying. He found it bizarre and funny and worrying that all he'd needed to cum, was the image of his friend's cock.

"Christ." he murmured into the dark of his bedroom.

He was in a bit of a pickle.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well," Elise jabbed her toe into his thigh. "what _do_ you feel for him?"

Robert leant on his shovel and wiped sweat off his brow. Mr. Trevor, the last client for today had come to explain Robert's job to him for the fifth time.

"Which is why- because there's mould, you see." Mr. Trevor nodded.

Charlie sniggered from where he was digging two metres away.

"Right on, mate." Robert tried.

"Indeed. So, of course, all we're looking for is for the clay to be..." he made a slow hand gesture. "pushed back from the house." He said, voice tinny. "And I suppose you chaps will put, oh, I don't know..." He chuckled and Robert wasn't sure what the joke was. "I'm not the expert here." He said and clapped Robert on the shoulder.

Robert frowned at the spot. It stung.

"That's you!" Mr. Trevor let out one last amused breath before clearing his throat. "But, as I was saying, the clay is making downstairs damp." He said and Robert did his very best to keep smiling. "So you'll move it back and put gravel or something down."

"That's it." Robert nodded, pushing off his shovel and starting work again. "You know your stuff."

Mr. Trevor laughed. "Oh... I don't know about that." He sighed happily, watching Robert dig for a while. "Right then." He suddenly said and off he went, shuffling back inside.

"Fascinating man." Charlie snorted and Robert shot him a grin.

* * *

He and Ricky both had Thursday afternoon off. Naturally, they went bowling. Naturally, what was supposed to be one or two hours of fun turned into going on five. Toward the three hour mark, they'd come close to killing each other with the bowling balls but had now returned to something pleasant and low pressure.

"You're cheating." Ricky shook his head as Robert stepped back from the alley.

" _How_?" Robert laughed. "Literally how do you cheat at bowling?"

Ricky gave him a dirty look. "As if you don't know." He shouldered past Robert and picked up a ball. "You're a filthy criminal, Robbie."

Robert laughed, dropping back on the leather seat and watching Ricky do his ridiculous pre-roll routine.

"Strike!!" Ricky beamed, as his second ball knocked over a grand total of two pins. His first had gone into the gutter.

Robert picked up his pint and snorted into it.

Ricky turned and started over to Robert when he stopped, eyes finding something behind Robert. A grin appeared on his face. "Oi oi! Elias!" He lifted a hand and waved.

Robert glanced over his shoulder, a smile spreading across his own face. It faltered somewhat when he saw that Elias was not alone.

"Lads, come join!" Ricky called. "We'll play two v two!"

And so, here they were. Jared, Elias and Robert watching Ricky take the first turn.

Robert cleared his throat and shot Jared a smile. "Aright mate? Not seen you for a while."

"Yeah, not bad." Jared nodded. "Working and that. You?"

"Yeah, not bad." Robert repeated. "Working." He dropped his eyes to his beer. "And that."

Jared snorted. "Training to be a parrot?"

Robert huffed out a laugh. "Sorry." He murmured. "Been stuck here for five hours. My brain's gone." He looked back up.

In a certain light, you could say he and Jared looked similar. Jared's hair colour was very close to Robert's and they were more or less the same height. Robert's ears were smaller than Jared's and his nose was bigger. They both had dull blueish-grey eyes. Robert had a bit more muscle on him.

This considered, Robert wondered if Elias had ever found him at all attractive.

Ricky smacked him on the back on the head. "Move up, mate."

Robert obediently shuffled up the seat.

Jared stood to take his turn.

Ricky leant his elbows on the table and pulled his beer toward himself. "How've you been Elias?" He smiled.

Elias smiled back. "Alright. You?"

Ricky had a sip. "Gonna buy a," He burped. "dog."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhm." Ricky nodded. "Hopefully. We're gonna check the SPCA this weekend."

"Exciting." Elias said mildly.

Robert picked a bit of dust out of Ricky's buzzed hair.

"Nice to see you and Jared." Ricky spoke after a second.

Elias raised his eyebrows.

Ricky grinned. "Make a cute couple." He said. "Nice to see and all."

Elias shifted his gaze to where Jared was considering his second ball. Robert watched the way his brows drew together and wondered if they'd said _I love you_ to each other. "Mm."

Jared soon enough returned and Robert smacked Ricky on the head, lips pulled upward in amusement. "Move down, mate."

Ricky snorted and obliged.

* * *

By the end of the two games they played (of which Ricky and Robert won both), Robert wasn't in the best of moods. He'd watched him for most of the night and couldn't stop comparing himself with Jared. He found they were frustratingly similar and it _hurt_. It hurt that Elias could very likely develop feelings for Robert. But he hadn't. And now he wouldn't.

He downloaded Grindr when he got home.

He quickly went about creating a profile, not understanding some of the categories, so leaving them blank. He didn't upload any photos either, just in case.

His inbox filled fast and Robert didn't reply to anyone, just read and tried to figure out how it all made him feel.

They were much of the same: _hey cutie_ ; _what r u up to_ ; _horny_?; _top or bttm_?; _hows ur night going_? _wanna get fucked by a 10" cock_???; _welcome to grindr_.

He also received a few dick pics (and one picture of some feet), which he did actually look at. The first was smaller than Robert's own and nicely shaped but it didn't make him feel much, apart from a very weak heat. The second was bigger than Robert's own and also nicely shaped. The head was red and a small bead of precum sat at the slit. Robert's gut stirred a little more at that one.

But he soon enough locked his phone and went about making supper.

* * *

"Elias?" Elise repeated slowly.

Robert nodded, not looking up from the scarf he was making her. _Gogglebox_ played on Robert's TV and they were sat on his sofa.

"Elias Brandt?" she clarified.

"Elias Brandt." Robert nodded, wondering if he'd made a wrong turn choosing bright orange. He held it up to Elise and tried to figure out if it suited her.

"You're _in love_ with him?"

Robert sighed and dropped his knitting back in his lap. "I don't know."

"Well," Elise jabbed her toe into his thigh. "what _do_ you feel for him?"

Robert sighed again and looked at her. "I feel..." He frowned. "well, I don't-- he makes me, um, nervous sometimes. Some of the things he does like. And it's not-- it's a _warm_ nervous. Like a fondness. But, intense."

Elise nodded in encouragement.

"And I've, well, I've--" he stopped himself with a snort. "-it's not for a lady's ears."

"Don't be a dickhead." Elise laughed.

"I tend to think about him while wanking now." Robert said. "Don't generally think about people, but I think about him."

She hummed.

"And then, you know, there's bloody _Jared_."

"Ah, jealousy." Elise said wisely and Robert swallowed.

"Pathetic, huh?"

"Nah." Elise told him. "It's natural. Besides, you don't act on it. You just need to find a way of overcoming it."

"Mm." Robert agreed, beginning to knit again. "So I thought I'd have sex with a different man."

Elise let out a bark of laughter. "Alright mate." She said. "Thought process?"

"Actually," Robert started thoughtfully. "it really _could_ just be that I'm pent up."

Elise made a dubious sound of amusement.

"I'm serious mate." Robert told her. "If I have sex with a proper person, 'stead of my own hand like, maybe I'll go back to not wanting intimacy. Maybe I'm just misunderstanding it all."

"You're an idiot."

"Just thinking out loud." Robert responded.

"But that's your plan to get over him?" she asked. "Shag someone else?"

"I guess."

"Needs work Robbie." she said, sending him a cheeky grin.

He snorted and elbowed her gently in the side.

It wasn't a _bad_ plan, surely.

* * *

Robert, Dave and Annette were playing scrabble. Annette was winning. Dave and Robert were so far behind it was fair to say they were _both_ losing.

Robert's newest word, _spice_ , got him 9 points. His highest score yet. Annette jotted it down with an unimpressed expression.

"How've things been, Rob?" Dave suddenly asked, putting the word _gardens_ down. "The bachelor lifestyle still suiting you?"

Robert laughed lightly. "I dunno mate." He said, watching Annette play the word _quiche_. "It's not really important at the minute."

"Fair enough." Dave hummed. "Long as you're happy."

Robert gave another laugh. "Happy." He murmured, looking at his tiles and noticing all he needed to spell Elias's name was an S. "I'm happy enough." He said, earning a superb four points via using a free R to form the word _liar_.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elias didn't shake it. He looked to Robert, expression still completely unplaceable. "You're straight."

Robert swallowed, looking over the man's bio. As usual, he didn't understand bits of it, but he decided the man wasn't a serial killer. Thus, he responded:

_Hey_

_What r u up to_

Robert looked about his flat. It was a Friday night and he wasn't up to much, was he?

_Chilling :)_

_U?_

_Yea same_

_What u looking for_

Robert gnawed on his lip

_Nothing too intense lol_

_I just want to try some things_

_I don't think I'm properly straight_

_Not been w a guy before?_

_Nope_

_Np_

_Send pics?_

Robert's heart jumped into his throat. Like...

_Sexy pics :0?_

_Lmao a face pic would be nice to begin w_

_Idm sexy pics tho ;)_

Robert swallowed

A few face pics of the man came through then and he relaxed a bit. He was young-ish and handsome-ish. Not Elias handsome. But not bad. Nice smile and nice eyes.

_U look good_

_Thanks lol_

Robert then opened his photo gallery and tried to find a half-decent photo of himself. He ended up going with one he'd taken with Ricky, both of them grinning like idiots. Of course, he cropped Ricky out before he sent it.

_U look good too_

_My names Ben btw_

_Robert_

_Cool_

_Top or bottom?_

Robert's heartbeat sped up. He ignored it.

_Not sure mate_

_Suppose I'm happy to try either :)_

_U?_

_Usually top_

Robert's stomach twisted slightly. It wasn't in disappointment, per se, but nor was it joy. It was a sort of excited-aroused-nervousness.

_So do u wanna meet up_

Robert blinked at his phone.

_Sure_

_Tonight?_

_Yea if u want, I can't host tho_

_Flatmate complains_

_Np I live alone_

_I'll send my address?_

_That would b helpful_

_U got condoms etc, yeah?_

Robert did have condoms; seldom used, but condoms nonetheless.

_Yep_

_[location]_

_Sweet_

_I'll hv a shower so be ab an hour_

_See u soon ;)_

Robert continued to stare at his phone and wondered what he'd got himself into.

* * *

He had a shower too and took extra care to clean himself, especially his butt. He still wasn't sure he was properly into this. But then again, the heat in the base of his gut when he thought about a cock (Elias's cock) near his ass was rather indisputable. 

He was tidying up a bit when there was a knock at his door. Heart jumping into his throat, he crossed over and opened it to a tall, well-built brunette.

Ben smiled as Robert stepped aside. "Robert? Hey."

"Alright?" Robert nodded, closing the door. "Shoes off mate."

Ben snorted. "Sure." He slipped his trainers off and there was a brief, awkward silence.

Robert cleared his throat. "Fancy a brew?" He slapped himself internally; nobody offered their hook-ups _tea_.

Ben slipped his hands into his jean pockets. "I'm alright, thanks."

Robert nodded. "Right."

Ben smiled a little. "You're pretty fit."

Robert felt heat rise to his cheeks. "Oh. Right. Um. Cheers. You. Too."

Ben snorted and began taking off his coat. "So. Any way you want to do this?"

Robert swallowed. "Um. Well... I don't... you take the lead, mate. Since you know what you're doing."

Ben hummed.

"Uh." Robert cleared his throat again. "I'll um... bedroom?"

Ben followed him through and remarked on the nice layout of the flat. Once in the bedroom, Robert scratched the back of his head.

"So..." he said lamely.

Ben grinned at him. "So."

"Do you, uh, want- I mean- should... should we kiss or?" Robert's entire face was burning.

Ben laughed. "You ever do this kinda thing with the ladies?"

Robert shrugged weakly. "Not for a while. I'm that clumsy?"

Ben shook his head and, rather suddenly, he stepped into Robert's space. A warm hand was brought up to Robert's cheek. "You're fine." He said and then a soft, short kiss was pressed to Robert's mouth and Robert's entire body burnt. "You have any rules?" Ben asked.

"Um." Robert's eyes fell to Ben's lips. A very nice set of lips. "No, don't- don't think so."

"Okay." Ben said, hand sliding down to rest at Robert's neck. "I keep my socks on and don't like people going near my ears."

Robert managed a small laugh. "Got it."

"Let me know if you want to stop at any point." Ben said. "I understand you're just trying things out."

"Mm." Robert nodded. "Cheers."

"Right." Ben smiled. "Can I take this off?" He asked, his free hand tugging at the hem of Robert's shirt.

Robert nodded slowly.

Ben made short work of pulling it off over Robert's head. He then stripped his own shirt off, shooting Robert a suggestive smirk as he revealed a nicely toned chest. Robert's throat clicked as he swallowed.

Ben's hands fell to the waistband of his jeans. "On, off?"

Robert stared at his hips. "Um... off. But. Pants on. For, uh, for now."

Ben smiled, "Right." then he was peeling off his jeans.

Robert watched him for a moment before following suit and discarding his own trousers. Ben wasn't hard, but Robert could already see he was a decent size. This was gonna feel... good, right?

"Okay?" Ben asked after a moment passed of each looking at the other.

Robert nodded and Ben moved in again.

This time when he kissed Robert, it was a little harder. Hands came up to Robert's shoulders and he was guided backwards until he felt his back hit the wall. He wasn't entirely sure what to do with his hands, but settled on resting them on Ben's waist. And then Ben bit his bottom lip. Hard. And Robert. Moaned.

Ben pulled back, grinning, "You like that?"

Robert just blinked dumbly at him.

Ben snorted and leant back in, one hand coming up to rest lightly at Robert's throat. His tongue pressed against the seam of Robert's lips and Robert opened, starting to feel heat build in his gut.

It seemed he really was 100%, completely, definitely not straight. Good. Good to know.

Ben licked into Robert's mouth and Robert didn't think kissing had ever felt this nice. Of course, he hadn't gotten off with anyone for a very long time, so. The hand not on his throat travelled slowly down his chest and pinched his right nipple lightly. Robert gasped into the kiss and Ben smiled at the sound, pinching again. His thigh shifted, pushing between Robert's legs and pressing against his crotch. Robert made a small sound and pulled back.

Ben paused. "Alright?"

"Mm." Robert nodded, feeling lightheaded. "Feels good."

Ben laughed quietly, then leant down to lick a strip up Robert's neck, from his collar bone to his ear. Robert shivered, taking his lower lip into his mouth. Ben's teeth grazed lightly at the skin below Robert's ear and Robert gripped his hips a little tighter. And then Ben bit down, his teeth sinking into the sensitive skin of Robert's neck. Robert groaned quietly, feeling tingly and warm. Ben moved back a fraction, licking over the blossoming mark.

"So." Ben said, lips moving up and brushing the shell of Robert's ear. "You wanna suck me off; want me to suck you off; want me to finger you?" He nipped at Robert's earlobe. "Give you a rim job? What d'you want baby?"

"Ooookay." Robert breathed, head leaning back and hitting the wall. "Okay. Fuck. Okay. Um. _Shit_."

Ben snorted, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw before moving a little further back.

Robert could feel his dick pressing against his pants and tried to get his breathing back on track. "You're really sexy." He managed, in a sort of breathless chuckle.

Ben laughed. "So are you."

Robert bit his lip, mind going a hundred miles an hour. "Mmhm." He took a steadying breath. "Right. Fuck. Alright." He flicked his eyes down and saw Ben was hard too. " _Fuck_. I want... can we..."

Ben stroked an arm up and down his bicep, waiting.

Robert exhaled shakily, "think I want you to. Finger-"

There was a knock at the door and Robert froze.

Ben blinked at him. "You expecting company?"

Robert blinked back. "No...?"

Going by behavioural patterns, Robert doubted it was anyone other than Ricky, Annette or Elias. Holy Mary mother of god, Robert _hoped_ it wasn't Annette. Or Elias, for that matter. It had bloody better be Ricky.

"I, um," Robert cleared his throat. "should answer. It's probably important if they came all the way..."

Ben stepped back from him. "Right. Yeah. Of course. Should- do you want me to-"

"-stay." Robert told him. "Uh. I mean. If- if-" There was a second series of knocks and Robert grabbed his jeans to pull on. Hopefully they would sort of hide his boner until it died down. "-if you want. But. I--" He swallowed and shot Ben an apologetic smile. "-I'll try be quick. Um. Sorry."

Ben just shook his head and moved to sit on the bed. "No worries mate. I'll wait."

Robert threw him a grateful smile before leaving the bedroom and heading for the front door.

Opening it, he found it wasn't Annette, thank Christ. But nor was it Ricky, unfortunately.

Robert blinked at Elias.  "Uh. Hey." He managed. "C- come in, brother."

Elias's eyes dropped to Robert's bare chest, hard nipples and the bulge in his trousers. "I'm interrupting something?"

Robert gave him a shaky grin. "You're fine. Uh. I- I can- we'll-- later. So, um." He cleared his throat, still waiting for Elias to come in. "You alright?"

A beat passed before Elias stepped in. "Sorry. I didn't expect you to have... company."

Robert shook his head, shutting the door. He threw Elias a smile. "Don't blame you."

Elias nodded, eyes running over Robert's debauched appearance once again. "I um. I'll try not to keep you then." He swallowed, looking away.

Robert crossed his arms over his chest. "What's up?"

"I, uh," Elias frowned, eyes finding Robert's feet now. "I just found out-"

"-hang on, Robert, I thought you said you had lube!"

Robert stared at the wall over Elias's shoulder, heart sinking.

"I found the condoms but I can't fuck you if- we could use olive oil?" Ben came down the hall and appeared at Robert's side.

Robert's mind was empty. This was... not ideal.

Elias frowned. His expression was hard to define.

Ben's eyes flicked to him. He bit his lip lightly. "Oh right. Shit. Uh." He gave a small, uncertain smile. "Hello."

Robert let out a short breath. Then he put on a little smile of his own. "Uh. Elias, this is, um, this is Ben, he's..." _a h_ _ook-up? Sex-friend?_

Ben offered his hand. "Nice to, uh, meet you."

Elias didn't shake it. He looked to Robert, expression still completely unplaceable. "You're straight."

Robert blinked slowly. "Uh... not quite...?"

Elias set his jaw. "Right." He glanced at Ben again and then back to Robert.

Ben cleared his throat quietly. "Sorry." He murmured to Robert. "I shouldn't've..."

Robert shook his head very slightly.

"I'll..." Ben stepped back. "be in the bedroom."

When he'd gone, Robert rubbed a hand over his face. "It's not-"

"-you don't have to justify yourself to me." Elias cut him off. The words were kind but his tone was hard. "I don't care either way." He looked to the side. "I only came because I just found out Jared's been cheating on me."

Robert's gut twisted and he opened his mouth.

"Which doesn't matter because I didn't even like him very much." Elias set his jaw and shook his head. "Thought I wanted to talk about it. But." He took a step back. "It's fine. Sorry for coming unannounced."

"No, Elias..."

Elias sent him a look and Robert withered.

He swallowed. "Well. Um... take care."

Elias nodded once and then he was gone.

Robert watched his closed front door for a while, before sighing and making his way back to the bedroom.

Safe to say, he wasn't quite in the mood anymore.

Ben was sitting on the bed looking sheepish. Robert sighed.

"Sorry man." Ben said. "I didn't think. I uh, I just thought you said..."

Robert rubbed a hand over his face. "Nah. S'alright. Said what?"

"You had lube."

Robert frowned at him. "When?"

"Over Grindr."

"You asked if I had _condoms_."

"Yeah, condoms _et cetera_." Ben explained. "Thought you'd put two and two together."

Robert bit his lip. "Sorry mate."

"Nah." Ben shook his head. "I should've been clearer, you're new to this."

Robert laughed. It was a mixture of things. Regret, guilt, confusion, amusement. "Fuck."

Ben watched him, grinning bashfully. "Should we, uh, do this another time?" He suggested. "When I haven't just outed you to your friend and you actually have lube?"

Robert laughed again. "Sorry mate."

"No, it's fine." Ben assured him. "Can I crash here though? I can't be fucked going back."

"Sure." Robert nodded. "Take the sofa, if you want, but I'm fine to share the bed."

"The bed works." Ben smiled. "So, uh," He stood up and grabbed his shirt and jeans. "how about that brew you mentioned?"

Robert snorted. "Right on."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elias set his jaw. "Not to be rude," He started, sounding rude. "but I don't feel like your company right now."

He held the phone to his ear with his shoulder, sliding Ben's coffee to him and setting his own tea on the breakfast bar. He listened to it ring and ring and ring. Elias didn't pick up. Robert muttered a cuss and pulled it from his ear. He flicked him a text or two.

iMessage

Today, 9:42 AM

Hey bro, I'm sorry ab last night

Pls call me? We'll talk about Jared?

If u want

Hope ur ok

I'm sorry

He nibbled his lip and hoped it wasn't too much.

"Your friend from last night?" Ben asked.

Robert sighed and slipped his phone away. "Yeah."

"He homophobic or something?"

Robert breathed out a laugh. "No. He's, um, gay. Actually. But he- he thinks I'm straight which, um-- and he's- his-- relationship, um. I think it's just ended."

"Oh." Ben nodded. "Sounds messy."

Robert scrubbed a hand over his hair. His phone dinged and he pulled it out in record time.

It wasn't Elias.

MESSAGES now

**Ricardio the Heart Guy** 😚

Good morning Robert Buckley

MESSAGES now

**Ricardio the Heart Guy** 😚

We (Dame Emma Cunningham and His Excellency Ricky Pure-Sex Clarke) are pleased to announce

MESSAGES now

**Ricardio the Heart Guy** 😚

Dog

MESSAGES now

**Ricardio the Heart Guy** 😚

[picture]

"Holy shit." Robert breathed, a helpless grin taking over his face.

"What's up?"

"Holy shit!" Robert laughed looking up. "Mate, you wanna go see my friend's new dog?"

Ben snorted. "Yeah, alright."

* * *

"We're thinking of calling her Rafael Nadal." Emma said and Robert was honestly tuning her out.

A young, chestnut Mastiff mix with her right front leg missing was currently shoving her face into Robert's.

" _Or_ Margaret Thatcher."

"No. That's off the table." Emma told her boyfriend. "Because it would be shortened to _Mag-_ "

"-what's wrong with Maggie?" Ricky pouted.

Ben bobbed down beside Robert; Rafael 'Maggie' Nadal turned her affections on him.

"Oh, then how about Wormtongue?" Ricky suggested and Robert laughed, standing up.

"Why don't you call her something normal?"

Emma gasped and Ricky looked vaguely betrayed. "Like what? _Barbra_?"

"No." Robert squinted at him. "Like, Daisy or Spot."

Ricky shook his head.

"I'd prefer to live with Rafael Nadal than with _Spot_." Emma said.

Robert snorted.

Ben stood up.

"Oh yeah." Ricky said. "I was meant to ask before, did you two..." He wriggled his eyebrows and made impolite hand gestures. "did you _do the deed_?"

Ben bit his lip, as if holding back a laugh, and Robert headed to Ricky's kitchen, not bothering to stifle a laugh of his own.

"Nah, we just cuddled." he heard Ben say as he flicked the kettle on and got out four mugs.

"How come?" Ricky inquired. "Did Bobby get scared?" He looked over to Robert. "You not bi after all?"

Robert leant on the counter. "Actually," He said, rubbing the back of his head. "um. We got... interrupted and, uh, then it- we decided to--" He waved a hand ambiguously.

"Interrupted how?" Emma asked, dropping down beside a now snoozing Nadal and scratching behind her ears.

Robert sighed. "Um... Elias sort of- came over to, uh, talk."

"Oh." Ricky came over to lean opposite him. He frowned. "You didn't want him to know?"

"No, it--" Robert sighed again. "-it just wasn't how- I dunno." He looked at Ricky's yellow t-shirt. "I dunno."

Ricky hummed. "Make sure to put heaps of sugar in mine." He said, nodding to their mugs. "Last time you didn't."

Robert let out a bark of laughter. "Last time, I put _five_ sugars-"

"-no way. It was one, maximum. My taste buds never lie. I'm like that girl from the sexy food anime."

* * *

It was after he'd dropped Ben home that Robert's phone dinged.

He stopped, keys in the ignition switch, and lifted his hips to pull it from his back pocket.

MESSAGES now

**Elias** 🐕

It's fine

MESSAGES now

**Elias** 🐕

Doesn't matter about Jared

Robert called him. It rang four times before he picked up.

"Robert, I don't actually want to talk about it."

Robert bit his lower lip. "But you-"

"-please." Elias cut him off. "Please just keep out of it."

Robert's chest twisted with hurt. "I just want to know you're okay."

"I'm fine." he said and it was cold.

Robert stared at his steering wheel. A few seconds passed. "I'm, uh, I'm sorry about the- the whole not being straight thing."

Elias let out a short sigh. "I really couldn't care less, Robert."

Robert swallowed, hurt stabbing through his chest again. "Right." He managed.

"I have to go." Elias muttered and hung up.

Robert dropped his head on his steering wheel. He hadn't felt this bad in a while.

* * *

He _really_ hadn't felt this bad in a long, long while.

Which, of course, was why he was now stood on Elias's doorstep. It was approaching 8 PM. Robert had already knocked and was now considering bolting.

The door opened. Robert tried a smile.

Elias set his jaw. "Not to be rude," He started, sounding rude. "but I don't feel like your company right now."

Robert swallowed and looked to the side. "I'll cook you supper?"

"I already ate."

Robert found there was a lump in his throat and bit his lip. "Oh." He looked at Elias's neighbour's steps. "Right."

"I'm gonna close the door." Elias said. "It's cold."

"Hey-" Robert looked back at him and stepped forward. "-I- can't I just... can't I just come in for- for a bit?"

Elias huffed out a dry laugh. He considered Robert for a second, then stepped back and muttered, "Fine."

After taking off his shoes and greeting Beef, Robert went through to find Elias pouring himself some wine. It was awkward. He cautiously slipped onto a stool at the kitchen island.

"Very tidy." he said because Robert was incapable of maintaining silences. "So. Um. Good job mate." Robert wanted to have his eyes pecked out by seagulls.

Elias snorted, eyes flicking up. "You want something to drink?"

"Oh." Robert said. He hadn't expected the offer. "Beer."

"I'm out." Elias told him, screwing the lid back on the wine bottle.

"Oh." Robert repeated. "I'll have." He swallowed. "Tea."

"You make it." Elias muttered. "I can't be bothered."

"Right." Robert slipped off the bar stool and joined Elias in the kitchen.

Elias leant against the breakfast bar and watched him. Watched him get out a clean mug. Watched him fill up the kettle. Watched him flick it on. Watched him drop a teabag in his cup. Watched him lean opposite. Watched him struggle to find a comfortable position.

"Mate, can- can you..." the scrutiny was really not helping whatever Robert was feeling right now. "not-- look at me."

Elias looked away and took a calm sip of wine.

Robert swallowed.

The kettle fizzled.

He let out a small breath. "So- so, um. Jared."

Elias's gaze returned to him briefly. "Jared." He repeated, eyes resting on Robert's left hand where it held the counter.

Robert chewed his lip. "What, uh, happened?"

Elias's brows twitched. "I told you. He was cheating."

Robert exhaled weakly.

"I'm only annoyed because it's disrespectful." Elias looked at his wine. "But I'm not hurt and I don't actually blame him."

Robert opened his mouth, ready to fire off compliments and reassurances because he could never imagine anyone even _thinking_ about cheating on Elias.

But Elias continued before he could. "It was obvious I wasn't trying."

And suddenly Robert was confused. "Trying what?"

Elias huffed out a bitter laugh and drank some more wine.

When apparently no answer was coming, Robert cleared his throat. "You- you-- did you... love him?"

Elias muttered something, dark eyes settling back on Robert's face. "Are you serious?"

Robert blinked at him. "Eh?"

"Jesus." Elias murmured. "No." He said. "I didn't. Do you need _everything_ spelt out to you?"

Robert's gut lurched. "...what?"

Beef came into the kitchen and collapsed at Robert's feet.

The kettle boiled.

He poured his tea, trying not to disturb Beef too much.

"So." Elias set his wine to the side. Critical eyes crawled all over Robert as he leant on the counter again. "How did you find that gay sex you were so curious about?"

"Elias..." Robert tried because he didn't understand the tone but he was sure Elias was misunderstanding something.

"What did you think would happen if you told me you weren't straight?" Elias asked, face wintry and eyes inaccessible. "Did you think I'd _hit on_ you? Were you worried I'd start _liking_ you?"

"No, I-" Robert didn't understand how they'd got here. He'd just wanted to know Elias was okay about Jared.

"-was the idea of me flirting with you _so bad_ that you decided you'd just lie?" he asked. "Was it fun messing with me? Pretending to be curious in order to-"

"-iminlovewithyou." Robert blurted and Elias - thank Christ - stopped.

"Excuse me?"

Robert's cheeks were warm and his heart was pounding and his chest hurt and he felt _fucking_ awful because it was very clear Elias didn't return his feelings. It was very clear Elias was angry with him. It was very clear this would ruin their entire goddamn friendship.

And this really wasn't how he'd wanted to tell him. If - and it was a Very Big _if_ \- Robert ever _was_ going to tell him.

But, of course, Robert was incapable of doing romance right.

So. Here he bloody well was.

He stroked a socked foot over Beef gently. "Didn't _know_ I weren't straight." He muttered, eyes feeling prickly and warm. "Never thought about men before." He continued, deciding he'd never look back up at Elias. "And- and I don't even know when it- but you're-- so I- I asked because I _was_ curious and- and-- and then you had _Jared_ ; of course I wasn't gonna- so I thought I'd try it with- with Ben. But..."

God, if this was what loving someone was, Robert had no clue why Annette and Ricky and whoever fucking else thought it was worth it.

The silence stretched and stretched, like a rubber band being pulled taut. And then it snapped.

"You're..." Elias's voice was no longer full of thorns. "in love with me?"

Robert watched Beef's fur get blurry because he was about to - _shit_ \- he was about to cry.

"Robert."

He sniffed and stopped running his foot over the snoozing dog. "Honestly mate, you can forget it." He said. "But I- I just didn't want you to- to, um, misunderstand."

"Robert."

Oh. And now Robert's cheeks were actually wet. "Fuck." He muttered, bringing his hands up to cover his face. "'Lias I'm gonna head home." He said, biting his lip and trying to get it under control. "You don't--" He swallowed, roughly wiped his face and stepped over Beef, still very much refusing to look at Elias. "-honestly, you don't have to worry about this mate. I'll, um, you know... sort it."

Elias's hand caught his forearm and Robert blinked at it. "Say it again. Please."

Robert swallowed, something sharp twisting in his chest. "I'll sort it." He repeated, understanding Elias's insistence on ensuring they were on the same page.

"Not that." came the soft reply and Robert just wanted to _go home_.

He sniffed again and reluctantly lifted his eyes to Elias's face. "Then _what_?"

Elias's expression was unfamiliar. But at least it wasn't hostile. Maybe he pitied Robert. "Tell me you love me."

Robert looked at him and wished he understood. He swallowed, face feeling itchy. "I love you." He felt raw and exposed and he wanted Elias to just _let him go_.

Elias laughed.

He fucking _laughed_. It was short, breathless and bemused. Robert's head was spinning.

He set his jaw and went about untangling himself from Elias because, even toward an unwanted admirer, laughing was mean.

"No- Robbie." Elias let him go and raised his hands placatingly. "I wasn't laughing _at_ you. I'm just-- I'm _happy_."

"Good for you." Robert muttered.

Elias watched him. "It's weird, I don't usually go for dumb guys."

He'd lost Robert once more, so Robert just repeated himself. "Good for you."

Elias laughed again. This one was soft and clearly full of amusement. "I'm talking about _you_ , Robbie."

Robert clenched his jaw and looked at Elias's crooked nose. "Mate, can I just go home?"

Elias's lips twitched. "I love you too, you fucking dolt."

Dolt.

Wait, hold on.

_Dolt._

Just.

Dolt??

It--

Wait a minute.

_What_?

"Come again mate?" Robert asked faintly, feeling more emotions than his brain knew what to do with.

Elias's face was soft and familiar. "I'm _in love_ with you, Robert."

Robert swallowed.

Elias's eyebrows lifted very slightly. He was waiting.

Robert swallowed again. "Right." He eventually managed. "Well then." His chest was slowly going from painfully tight to painfully warm. "Right."

Elias laughed under his breath. "I can't believe this."

Robert just blinked slowly at him.

"We're ridiculous." Elias breathed, glancing at his dog.

And suddenly Robert was _beaming_. "Wait, Elias, you _love_ me?"

Elias's lips twitched. "Mm."

"Woah." Robert let out a nervous little laugh. "Elias, mate. We- we're in love."

Elias snorted and looked back to him. "Who'd've thunk?"

Robert smiled. "Since it's like this brother," He said, deciding to finish his tea after all and crossing to the fridge. "can I stay the night?"

Elias huffed out a laugh. "As long as you never call me _brother_ again."

Robert uncapped the milk. "Eh?" He said. "What's wrong with it?"

Elias watched him flatly.

Robert added the milk to his tea. "I don't mean it like _brother_ ," He took his teabag out and dropped it in Elias's bin. "I mean it like..." He frowned, screwing the milk's lid back on. "you know, lovingly."

Elias breathed out a laugh. "I'm not into it, Robbie." He said. "It makes me feel like I'm one of your mates."

Robert slotted the milk back into the fridge and shot him a grin. "Lovers are friends."

"Don't start." Elias chuckled.

Robert picked up his tea and they were back to leaning opposite each other.

It was a tad awkward.

"So," Elias said. "and you don't have to tell me, but." He cocked his head to the side. "How was it with..." His brows furrowed. "Ben?"

Robert thumbed the rim of his mug. "Nah mate. You killed the mood." He said and it seemed the smile on his face was now permanent. "I mean, we were making out and that was good, but after you left we just ended up sleeping."

"Oh right." Elias nodded.

A beat passed.

"Are we boyfriends-"

"I could fuck you-"

They both spoke at the same time.

"Sorry." Robert grinned. "You go."

Elias bit his lip and looked to the side. "I was just saying, tonight we could... if you want."

"Oh." Robert said. " _Oh._ " His face was suddenly on fire. "I- oh right. Um. Just- just to clari- clarify..." Robert cleared his throat. "you mean..." Given his hands were occupied by a warm mug, he instead used his eyebrows and wiggled them suggestively.

Elias laughed. "Offer's expired." He said, picking up his wine.

"Nooo." Robert straightened up. "I- I would-- like to."

Elias looked into his wine, lips curved gently upward. "Okay." He said and Robert's stomach buzzed. "Anyway," Elias looked back up. "what were you gonna say?"

"Hm?" Robert took a quick sip of his tea, trying to remember. "Oh. It's-- I was, you know... are we um." He frowned. "Well. I'd like to call you my..." He frowned some more. "boyfriend." The word sounded very strange in this new context. He bit his lip, trying to keep his smile from growing. "Is that... alright?"

Elias smiled right back. "It's more than alright." He said softly.

Well then. This _was_ a positive turn of events.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elias snorted softly. "Can I kiss you?"

"You can fuck me if you'd rather." Elias said, stripping off his jumper and dropping it on the desk.

Robert stood in the doorway of his bedroom, feeling very warm, very nervous and decently aroused. "Um..."

Elias looked at him. His dark eyebrows drew slightly together. "Or, maybe- maybe we shouldn't do this tonight." He said, sounding unsure. "I mean, maybe we should just take it slow."

Robert shook his head. Then nodded. Then said, "If-- mate, I'm honestly-"

"-side note, sorry." Elias cut in. "I really don't mind you calling me mate, it's kinda cute actually. But, uh," He sort of smiled. "just not in situations like this."

Robert blinked. "Oh right." _Situations like this_? "Like... sexy situations?"

Elias laughed and dropped to sit on his bed. "You're finding this sexy?" He asked and it seemed he was teasing.

Robert snorted and finally moved from the doorway. "I'm not _not_ finding it sexy." He mumbled, sitting beside Elias.

Elias let out a soft breath of amusement.

Robert looked at him. "Do _you_ wanna take it slow?"

Elias's eyes fell to their feet. "I..." He glanced at Robert. "no. Not really. But I'm aware that you might."

"No way." Robert grinned at him. "Elias, guess how many times I've cum to the thought of you."

Elias blinked at him. A quiet red crept onto his cheeks.

Robert bit his lip. "Was that a bit much?"

Elias shook his head. "It was-- unexpected. You think of me?"

Robert wondered which of their faces was more red. "...is that weird?"

Elias snorted. "No."

Robert looked at Elias's lips. "'Lias can- can I ask you something?"

"Mm?"

God, Elias had such a _pretty_ mouth. Robert looked away in order to focus. "When did you start liking me?"

"When?" Elias echoed thoughtfully. "I can't pinpoint that. But I can tell you when I realised."

Robert hummed in question.

Elias smiled at him. "You remember that night when we were watching _Lord of the Rings_ and you," He frowned. "went on about buying milk?"

Robert nodded. "Remember that."

"It was when you were telling me your type." Elias said. "The more things you listed, the more I realised it was impossible for you to ever consider me. It was like I'd been punched." Elias told him. "Which is why I left. I got freaked out."

Robert grinned. "I wanted to kiss you."

Elias's eyebrows rose calmly. "I'm sorry?"

"That's why I wanted- I didn't want _milk_ , I just wanted a wander. Cos I was looking at you watching the film and I wanted to kiss you."

"You're joking." Elias laughed. "What is _wrong_ with us? I thought- Robbie, I was considering putting some distance 'tween us."

"Eh?"

"It was beginning to hurt too much."

Robert bit his lip. "Sorry."

Elias just smiled and shook his head. "Not your fault."

Robert nodded, eyes running over Elias's face - a proper, A+ face - before a question popped into his head. "Hang on," He began. "if you realised how you felt _before_ you were properly seeing Jared, what- what was that... about?"

Elias tilted his head to the side, very slightly. "It was pretty shitty on my part."

Robert didn't follow.

Elias exhaled gently, watching Robert's face. "Did he... remind you of anyone?"

Robert frowned, wracking his brain.

"Blond hair." Elias's lips twitched. "Big smile-"

"-Niall Horan?"

Elias looked at him. " _Niall Horan_." He repeated, unimpressed.

"Oh. _Oh_." Robert laughed. " _Ohh_."

Elias snorted and lifted a hand to flick him on the ear. "Careful Einstein; you show off that big brain of yours too much and people will start to notice." 

Robert ducked away from him with a laugh. "So you didn't- didn't have any feelings for him then?"

Elias made a vague noise. "I don't know. Not really." He said. "But intimacy can--" He made a vague hand gesture. "-cast some illusion. Speaking of," He gave Robert a small smile. "I'd like a number."

"What's that?" Robert asked, smiling back dumbly.

"How many times have you cum to the thought of me?"

Robert's stomach did a somersault. "Oh right." His cock grew interested in the way Elias was watching him. He gave a nervous laugh. "Well. It- it was... a decent few times." He said, entire body burning. "...you?"

"Me?" Elias hummed playfully, lips curled in amusement.

Robert jabbed him in the side. "You, about me?"

Elias let out a little laugh. "More times than I can count, Robbie." He said. "I fucked him thinking of you."

"Oh." Robert breathed. "Well. Right." He wet his bottom lip. A solid few seconds passed. He pulled himself together. "Should-- can I have a shower?"

Elias nodded. "Mmhm."

* * *

Elias had an en suit in his bedroom. Robert used the loo then took as quick a shower as he could manage while still ensuring he was clean.

Once finished, he roughly dried himself and tied the towel round his hips.

Elias was chewing his nails when Robert came out. Seeing Robert, his expression shifted minutely and he dropped the hand.

Robert tried a wink.

Elias rolled his eyes and looked away, lips twitching.

Robert grinned, moving over. His grin dipped, however, when he noticed the way Elias was bouncing his leg. "Alright?"

"Mm." the leg stopped and Elias flicked his eyes up, then to the side. "I just-- I think I should bottom after all."

Robert nodded. "I'd be happy even to kiss you," He said with a smile. "so I'll take what I can get." He watched Elias chew his lip. "'Lias, you don't need to be-- are you... nervous?"

Elias's eyebrows drew together gently and he met Robert's eyes briefly. "I..." He swallowed then let out a breathless chuckle. "Robbie, you have a really nice body."

Robert laughed sheepishly, feeling himself flush. "Cheers."

Elias made a small, hard-to-place noise in response.

Robert watched him, chest drawing tight with an unsure feeling. He couldn't tell what Elias was thinking. "Elias, you know how hopeless I am, so if- if there's a problem, please tell me. I don't want to accidentally make it worse."

Elias made eye-contact again and this time he maintained it. His face was soft but there was an element of unease there and Robert's stomach dropped slightly. Elias took a quiet breath. "I'm worried about hurting you." He said. "Not that I-- but I want to make you feel good. So I think I should bottom for now."

Robert frowned at him. "For now?" He repeated. "How long does that last?"

"Just-- until we know each other better."

Robert's frown deepened. "But we already know each other."

"I mean our bodies. Together."

"Oh." Robert sounded. He glanced to the side. "Right." His mind ticked as he thought. He was on board with all that; he was on board with anything Elias wanted. That being said. His gaze returned to Elias. "I'm happy with anything, but um. At the same time, I, uh, would really like your cock. In my ass. Um. At- at some point. Hopefully. Soon. Uh." He began eloquently. "And I remember you said you were more comfortable t- topping." He cleared his throat. "So if you want me to top tonight, I'd be- I'd be chuffed. As long as it _is_ what you want. Not what you think _I_ want. Because I'm- I want-- whatever you're willing to, um, give." Coherency perhaps dipped toward the end, but it was good enough, Robert thought.

Elias just blinked at him, face reddening once more.

Robert gnawed his lip.

Silence stretched.

"Sorry, that was... a mess." Robert chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. "I- I just thought you should-- know what I... want." He said. "Not that I don't want to- to fuck you. Believe me, I'd love to. I just- I've been thinking about, uh, about your cock in my ass for-- a long time now. And so. Um..." He let out a weak breath. "sorry."

"No don't... apologise." Elias said slowly.

Robert chuckled again; a knee-jerk reaction.

Elias's eyes dropped to run over Robert's chest. "I don't want to scare you off."

"Elias," Robert said. "I might be a blockhead, but at least I'm capable of understanding my own desires."

"Okay." Elias nodded. "Okay." He repeated, quieter.

Robert looked at his red cheeks and wondered if his chest was also flushed.

Elias cleared his throat and stood from the bed. His hands found the hem of his shirt and he tugged it off, dropping it to the floor.

Robert felt heat rush to his face, eyes taking in the newly exposed skin.

Elias's chest _was_ faintly flushed; the skin only a little less tan than his arms and face. He had more hair than Robert (not an impressive feat - Robert had barely three chest hairs) and it was spread evenly across his pecs, before narrowing into a line stretching down to his happy trail. His skin looked soft and warm. He wasn't toned like Robert was, yet still held a quiet promise of strength.

"Elias, you're so sexy."

Elias snorted softly. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes please."

When lips met lips, it became apparent they were both smiling. Which didn't make for much of a kiss, but Robert was so impossibly far from complaining. In fact, this may have been the happiest he'd ever felt. He couldn't help laughing into the kiss. Elias nipped his bottom lip. Robert's laugh caught in his throat.

And soon enough, they were exploring each other's mouths with tongues, hands roaming. Elias cupped Robert's cheek, pulling him closer as his tongue stroked the side of Robert's. Robert ran light fingertips through the fuzz on Elias's front. Soft noises came periodically from each of them.

"You smell like my shampoo." Elias murmured, lips under Robert's ear.

Robert gave a breathless chuckle. "That okay?"

Teeth gently grazed skin. "Mm. Like it." Elias's hand found the towel sitting on Robert's hips. "Off?"

Robert exhaled shakily, nerves jumping. "Shit." He breathed. "Yeah."

Elias kissed his neck chastely, then pulled back.

When the towel hit the floor, Robert's heart decided emphatically to pick up the pace and he took his bottom lip into his mouth.

"You have a nice cock." Elias told him, eyes on said cock; half-hard between Robert's legs.

Robert tried to snort but it didn't come out quite right.

Elias's lip twitched as his eyes came back to Robert's. "Think you're bigger than me." He said, pressing a kiss to Robert's jaw.

"Oh." said Robert.

Elias laughed gently. "Mm. Wanna suck you off."

"Oh." repeated Robert.

Elias laughed again and pulled back to look at Robert. "That okay?"

Robert looked at him, mind tripping over itself in search of a response. "Oui."

Elias chuckled. "Merci." And then he was dropping to his knees.

Elias started by giving him a few strokes with a spit-slick hand, slowly bringing Robert to full hardness. Robert enjoyed the heat pooling in the base of his gut, breath quickening. Elias glanced up at Robert, before leaning in.

He started with a light lick to the head and Robert bit his lip, shivers running up his spine. He teased Robert with a few more licks and kisses, until Robert was wet with precum and his breathing was shallow. A quiet moan slipped from Robert's lips as Elias flicked his tongue around the head, then took it into his mouth.

Honestly, it felt like Robert was sliding into a warm vagina as Elias pressed on. If Robert closed his eyes, he doubted he'd be able to tell the difference. He exhaled shakily, dropping a hand onto Elias's head. Elias hummed and Robert swore, the vibrations causing hot static to course through him.

Elias clearly knew what he was doing.

He changed up his rhythm, pressure and speed routinely, tongue moving skilfully over Robert's hard member. While the tip was in his mouth, his hands would stimulate the shaft in practiced motions. His frequent, small moans made pleasure ripple throughout Robert's entire body. Fingertips trailed over the sensitive skin of Robert's inner thighs; over his ass; over his balls. Elias was able to take the entire length into his mouth with ease and Robert swore at the feeling of his throat moving around him. It was hot and wet and intimate and Robert had never had it this good before.

Visually, Robert couldn't think of a more erotic sight. Every now and then, Elias would flick his eyes up and hold Robert's as he continued to take him apart; and every time, Robert's breathing stopped.

Elias drew off to lick his way down the shaft, saliva and pre messy on his chin.

" _Elias._ " Robert breathed, heat boiling in the base of his gut.

Elias took one of Robert's balls into his mouth and sucked, ever so gently.

" _Holyfuck_." Robert's hand tightened in Elias's hair, eyes falling shut.

Elias continued to play with his balls and the tingling in the head of Robert's cock was almost unbearable.

" _Mm shit,_ 'Lias this-- _ah_."

Elias's lips closed back around Robert's shaft and he bobbed his head a few times, sucking with just the right amount of pressure; sitting on the very cusp of too much.

"I'm gonna--"

Elias pulled off with a wet pop and wiped his forearm over his chin.

Robert blinked dazedly down at him, chest rising and falling without rhythm.

Elias stood. "Get on the bed." He dropped a kiss to the corner of Robert's mouth. "On your back."  


Robert nodded, head racing.

Elias's bed, perhaps unsurprisingly, smelt like Elias. It made something soft and fond pull tight in Robert's chest.

Elias followed, stopping to open the top drawer of his bedside table. He took out a box of condoms and a bottle of, assumedly, lube.

Robert wasn't really paying attention to that, however; his eyes were fixed on the bulge in Elias's jeans.

"Robbie." Elias murmured, dropping the lube and condoms by Robert's hip and settling between his legs.

Eyes still on his crotch, Robert gave a shaky-sounding, "Yeah?"

Elias ran soft hands over Robert's thighs. "The lube is a warming one."

Robert didn't know what that meant. He thought Elias should take off his jeans. "Nice."

Elias snorted, drawing Robert's gaze upward. Amusement danced in his eyes. "It'll give a heating sensation. You might feel weird."

"Heating... sensation." Robert repeated, trying to keep his eyes on Elias's face. "In my... ass?"

Elias nodded. "It feels good, but probably not what you-- I would have picked up some normal stuff if I knew this was going to happen."

"It's-- I don't mind." Robert managed, head clearing slightly. "I mean, if I really hate it, I guess I'll fuck you instead." He said. "Unless... will it make my cock hot too?"

Elias laughed. "Mm. Warm, though. Not hot."

"Alrighty Aphrodite." Robert shuffled a little, arranging a pillow behind his shoulders. "'Lias, please take off your jeans."

Elias snorted. "Right." He got up from the bed and started on his fly button. "Do you want to finger yourself, or should I do it?"

Robert nodded, watching Elias step out of his trousers. There was a delay in registering the question. Elias's boxers had a slight damp patch. From pre. From pre from sucking Robert off. Because it turned him on. Because he _loved_ Robert. _Oh wow._ "Fuck. Elias, I love you."

Elias's hands faltered on the waistband of his pants.

Robert bit his lip and found Elias's eyes again. "I mean. Like. A lot."

Elias's throat bobbed as he swallowed. "I love you too."

Something sunny flowed through Robert, a smile helplessly gracing his face. "Okay."

"Okay." Elias repeated with a smile of his own. He stripped his pants off.

_Oh wow. Oh wow._

Elias's cock was roughly the same size as Robert's, perhaps not quite as long but Robert was confident in saying Elias was thicker. His pubic hair was noticeably better groomed than Robert's; no hair on his balls or the base of his penis, but some was kept trim just above it. He was more veiny than Robert, too, and Robert couldn't help but wonder if he'd be able to _feel_ that when Elias was inside.

Elias returned to the bed and settled back between Robert's legs. "Pass me a pillow."

Robert, head largely empty, complied.

Elias accepted the pillow with a small smile. "Hips up."

Robert lifted his hips and the pillow was slid smoothly underneath him.

"Comfy?" Elias asked, hands resuming to stroke Robert's thighs softly.

"Mmhm." he breathed.

"Okay." Elias leant down to kiss him briefly, before moving back and grabbing the lube. "You want to do it yourself?"

Robert shook his head.

Elias bit his lip. "'Kay." One hand gently spread Robert's legs. "Tell me if you want me to stop."

Robert doubted that would be necessary, but threw Elias a grin nonetheless. "Will do."

Anticipation churned in his gut as he watched Elias squeeze lube onto the fingers of his right hand; as he watched Elias put the bottle aside; as he watched Elias's fingers move to his asshole.

He traced a fingertip around Robert's hole and Robert took his bottom lip in his mouth. It kind of tickled.

"Breathe deep and push out when I press in." Elias told him, fingertip now gently rubbing over Robert's hole.

Robert nodded, heart pounding against his ribcage.

Elias's free hand smoothed up and down Robert's left thigh; from his hip to his knee, repeatedly.

And then he was working his pointer finger in, slow as anything.

Robert bit down harder on his lip, but stopped when he remembered Elias's instruction to breathe. His instinct was to tense up and he did, at first. Elias paused, eyes flicking upward, and Robert forced himself to relax, allowing the finger to continue past his rim. It didn't hurt at all. The lube was smooth and, as Elias had mentioned, _warm_. It was odd, but Robert decided he liked it.

"Okay?" Elias asked, not moving his finger save for twisting it.

"Yeah." Robert confirmed, voice weaker than usual. "It-- it's nice."

Elias gave him a soft smile. "Nice?"

Robert smiled back. "Yeah. Nice."

"I'm gonna move." Elias murmured. "The lube feel good?"

"Yeah." Robert nodded, watching Elias slowly pull out his finger, only to press it back in. "Kinda-- relaxing."

Elias breathed out a chuckle. "Mmhm."

After a while, Elias asked about adding another and, with Robert's go-ahead, pressed the tip of his middle finger to his rim. Just like with the first, it slipped in easy. Robert was surprised by the lack of discomfort; there was the definite feeling of being stretched, but it didn't hurt at all. To Robert, it was the same mild burn of stretching muscles before a workout.

Elias paused again with the two fingers knuckle-deep, giving Robert needless time to adjust. "Have you never tried anything down here?" He asked.

Robert shook his head, concentrating on getting his breathing steady.

Elias dragged the fingers out slowly. "What kind of sex do you have with women?"

Robert's breathing refused to cooperate and he gave up altogether. "Nothing- nothing crazy." A slight moan slipped out of him as Elias pushed back in with a little more force. "I've-" He gave a small laugh. "-only ever had sex in missionary."

Elias's lips twitched. "That doesn't surprise me." He crooked his fingers up.

Robert's hands clenched in the duvet. "Elias, that--"

"Feel good?"

Robert's head fell back and he gazed at the ceiling. "Mm."

From there, Elias built a steady pace and pleasure started to build in the base of Robert's gut. Now and again, Elias would curl his fingers upward, rubbing Robert's prostate gently. Each time he did it, Robert made a noise, tingles shooting up his body. When two fingers became three, Robert asked him to slow down for the first time.

"Just--" he swallowed. "-stings a bit."

"That's normal." Elias nodded, fingers unmoving inside Robert. "I'll add more lube. Tell me when I can move."

Once the feeling died down, Robert gave him a wobbly smile and told him to _go for it_. The sting lessened significantly with another squirt of lube and Robert moaned when Elias began consistently massaging his prostate.

The more he thrust his fingers in and out - the more they brushed Robert's sweet spot - the louder his moans got. The feeling building in his gut was one he knew; one which preceded a climax. And yet his cock lay untouched against his stomach. Pleasure rolled continuously through him and maybe it was because of how Robert felt about Elias, but this was already the best sex he'd ever had.

"You're so wet, Robbie." Elias murmured, fingers still steadily fucking into him. His gaze was on Robert's cock.

Robert was so warm. He felt like he was beginning to melt. "Feels-- so good."

Elias's fingers slowed and he leant over to give Robert a soft kiss.

The kiss quickly dissolved into something messy and hot. Robert groaned as Elias sucked lightly on his tongue.

"Can I put my cock in?" Elias asked and Robert could feel the way his lips moved against his own.

"Yeah. Yes please."

Elias smiled against him. "Such good manners." He teased, voice rough.

Robert managed a thick laugh. "Piss off."

Elias snorted, before pulling back and dragging his fingers out.

He took a packet from the box of condoms and tore it open, rolling it on in one a fluent motion. Robert had never been more aroused.

Elias lubed up his cock, then lined up before Robert's hole; one hand holding his length, the other rubbing Robert's hip absently. He glanced up at Robert and Robert gave a slight nod.

"Okay." Elias breathed and began pushing in.

It was more than the three fingers Robert had been taking and the burn of the stretch did begin to tip back toward pain, but it was nothing unbearable.

Elias moved slowly, eyes flitting between Robert's face and where they were joined. "Tell me if I need to slow down." His voice was strained.

"You're already going so slow." Robert's wasn't much better.

Elias ignored him.

Robert liked the way his lips twitched.

When he was fully sheathed, they were both panting and Elias moved in to drop a few more kisses against Robert's mouth. "You feel so good." He said, breathing still heavy.

Robert made a slight noise in response. "Feel like I might shit."

Elias laughed, the noise muffled into Robert's neck. "That's normal." The hand not braced on the bed beside Robert's head traveled down Robert's chest to his stomach, before wrapping around his cock. "You're still hard."

" _Elias_."

Elias licked over his Adam's apple, beginning to slowly stroke.

Robert wound his arms round Elias's shoulders, whining.

"Can I move?" Elias asked, keeping his strokes steady.

Robert wasn't sure. "In-- a minute."

Elias's lips came back to Robert's. "Okay."

They continued to kiss sloppily and all the while, Elias leisurely jerked Robert off. Robert's attention jumped from the hard, hot length he could _feel_ inside him; to the pressure from Elias's hand; to the tongue pressing against his own; unable to keep up with the multiple sensations. He bit Elias's lower lip and Elias pulled back slightly.

"You can- can move." Robert told him, voice lower than usual.

Elias swore under his breath, kissing Robert once more before straightening up.

Both hands came to settle at Robert's hips and Robert watched the way his chest rose and fell.

Gradually, Elias began to slide in and out.

" _Oh_."

"Okay?" he asked, keeping his thrusts gentle and slow.

" _Yeah_." pleasure crawled up Robert's spine with each movement. It was hot and tingling and intense.

"Tell me if I do anything you don't like." Elias murmured, thumb rubbing Robert's hip.

"Stop worryin- _mmh_."

Elias gave a harder, deeper thrust and something molten burst in Robert's gut.

" _Elias_."

Elias did it again.

" _Fuck_ , it feels--" Robert didn't have the words.

Elias's movements became regular, full thrusts, always just _barely_ grazing Robert's prostate and this was really it. Robert Buckley was going to die. There were worse ways to go, he supposed.

Things seemed to fade in and out of focus; sensations sharp and then fuzzy. He wasn't sure when he'd wrapped his legs around Elias's hips, unthinkingly trying to get him deeper. Occasionally, Elias would break his rhythm with a few rougher or gentler thrusts and all Robert could do was moan. Elias pulled out entirely, licking into Robert's mouth, before driving back in and Robert keened, one hand fisting in Elias's hair.

"You like it rougher?" Elias's voice was gravelly and _fuck_ that was so sexy.

" _Mm_." Robert whined as Elias's hips snapped, cock hitting Robert's prostate head-on. " _Hnng fuck. Fuck Elias._ "

Elias licked a line across Robert's jaw. "You sound so good, Robbie."

Robert whimpered, heels digging into the small of Elias's back.

Elias pulled back and watched Robert's face as he delivered a series of quick, deep thrusts, cock rubbing Robert just right each time.

Robert was unable to control his reactions, head swimming and body burning.

And then Elias brought a hand down to stoke Robert's leaking cock.

" _Nngh 'Lias, that_ \--"

His strokes sped up, timed with each hard snap of his hips.

And that was it.

Robert came all over himself, moaning and panting as Elias watched.

" _Fuck_." it felt like nothing he'd ever experienced. Wave after wave of white-hot pleasure lapped over his entire body, from his toes to his torso. He felt lightheaded and hot and buzzing.

Elias leant back down to kiss him; soft. His thrusts, too, had returned to something gentle and steady.

"'Lias, I--" Robert's words were slurred. Tides of pleasure continued to flow through him. Did orgasms usually last this long? "-cum. On me."

"Shit." Elias's hips stuttered. "You want me to cum on you?"

" _Mm_ yeah."

"Fuck." his hips snapped a few more times before he was pulling out. The condom was hurriedly tugged off as his hand worked over the shaft. And then he was cumming. Thick spurts hitting Robert's stomach and chest.

A moment of stillness passed, disturbed only by heavy breathing.

"That was so good." Robert managed, hardly sure he was even the one speaking. "'Lias, that was _soo_ good."

Elias gave a breathless laugh and dipped down to kiss Robert softly. "Yeah." He agreed. " _Soo_ good."

Robert laughed and wrapped weak arms around his neck.

This was it. This was what it was meant to be like.

_Fuck_.

Robert was so happy.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looked about Annette's posh dining room and felt impossibly warm.

Annette sat across from where Robert was making toast. "I'm sorry, Rob, what?"

Robert bit his lip because it really was incredibly hard not to smile. "And I don't want to jinx anything, but I think it's gonna be a long-term thing."

"Rob, you-- _Elias_." Annette said slowly, as if she believed Robert had misspoken.

He turned round and grinned at her. "Yeah."

Her neat eyebrows rose. "I didn't know you had that interest."

Robert laughed and ran a hand over his hair. "Neither did I." He admitted.

"Well." she picked up her mug and took a delicate sip. "Don't mess it up. Elias is a good man."

Robert beamed at her. "He really is, Annie."

She put her cup down and sighed curtly. "I don't actually like it when you're..." She set her lips. " _smitten_."

Robert laughed.

* * *

"Heya handsome." Elias said, stepping back from his door.

Robert grinned and ducked past him.

"Hey yourself." Ricky winked, following suit.

Elias laughed gently, shutting the door behind them. "I didn't know you were coming too."

Ricky grinned, scratching Beef behind the ears. "Not staying long, just here to pick up that dog bed you mentioned."

"Oh right." Elias nodded as they moved into the living room. "It's just by the TV."

"Cheers." Ricky beamed, heading over.

Robert helped himself to a beer from Elias's fridge, smiling as a kiss was dropped to the top of his head.

"Stir fry okay for dinner?" Elias asked, moving back.

"Absolutely." Robert grinned, cracking open his can.

"Hey, Elias?" Ricky called, a dog bed now in his arms.

Elias looked over Robert's shoulder, eyebrows raising calmly. "Mm?"

Ricky's snicker immediately put Robert on high-alert and he turned to look at Ricky in - he hoped - a cautionary manner.

"Just thought you'd like to know about the glowing reviews Robbie has given you."

Robert's beer was placed with a _thud_ on the counter as colour rushed to his face. "Ricky-"

"- _mind-blowing sex_ , apparently." Ricky, wisely, was edging toward the exit, his grin too big for his face. "A _spiritual experience._ " He continued and Robert wanted to be buried alive. "He said something about _indescribable_ _plea_ \--"

"-Richard Clarke, shut your mouth."

Ricky just cackled. "Thanks for the dog bed, Elias." His eyes flicked to Robert. Eyebrows wiggled. "Enjoy your night, Rob." And with that, he was gone.

Elias was clearly holding in a laugh.

The muted rattle of his front door opening and closing sounded.

Robert's face rivalled the apples in Elias's fruit bowl.

"Nice of him to say." Elias finally said, lips curved upward and eyes dancing.

Robert picked up his beer with a resigned chuckle. "I'm going to kill you both."

Elias opened a cupboard to get a frying pan. "Mind-blowing?" He repeated lightly.

"Oh my god, don't."

Elias laughed. "Okay." He hummed, moving over to kiss him gently. "I'm serious though," He pulled back, eyes running over Robert's face fondly. "it's nice to hear."

Robert swallowed. "Well." He said, face ever so warm. "Well. Good."

Elias snorted. "Help me chop vegetables."

"Yessir."

* * *

"Woah." Robert breathed, gazing down at Elias.

Elias bit his lip. "Whoa? Good whoa or bad woah?"

A grin broke out on Robert's face. " _Very_ good." He swallowed and dropped his eyes to where his hips were flush to Elias's ass. " _Fuck_ , you're so tight."

"Uh huh." Elias murmured. "Please start moving, Robbie."

"Shit. Yeah. Fuck. Okay." Robert kept his eyes on their hips as he slowly pulled out.

It was unbelievable; hot and wet and smooth. Completely different from a vagina; Elias was far tighter. There was pressure on Robert's cock from every direction, making it difficult to think.

He started slow and easy, keeping close attention to Elias's reactions in case he was doing anything wrong. He was far more nervous doing this for the first time, than he had been bottoming. When Elias let out a breathless laugh and told him to relax, Robert did his best.

There was a bit of push back as he was thrusting but it felt really, _fucking_ good. As his confidence grew, his thrusts became firmer and Elias's moans increased in frequency. Robert was still louder - he'd always been loud during sex - but each noise Elias made, caused something hot and possessive to bubble in Robert's gut. He noticed Elias's hips rising to meet his thrusts - just like a woman's - and let out a jumbled string of curses, leaning down to kiss him.

" _Mm fuck._ " he panted, lips moving over Elias's neck.

Elias's nails raked over his shoulders as he moaned in response. "Robbie, I-- faster."

"Fuckfuck." Robert pulled out further and fucked back in deeper, repeating the motion quicker than before. " _Mm_. Good?"

Elias's nails dug into his back. " _Uhn yeah_."

Robert groaned and bit down on his shoulder, feeling Elias's hole _twitch_ around him.

Robert sort of lost track of reality after that. All that existed was Elias. His sounds; his scent; the way he responded to each snap of Robert's hips. It was sweaty and probably rougher than Robert intended (whenever he fantasised about it, he'd fuck Elias slow and gentle) but it was clear no one was complaining. Elias's breathing was laboured and his moans were loud and he had his hands on Robert's ass, forcing him deeper. A well-known sensation began rising from Robert's balls and through his cock. His mind went completely blank, hips stuttering as a wave of relaxation washed over him.

Elias came barely a few seconds later, stroking himself through it.

"Mm," Robert nosed sleepily at the crook of Elias's neck. "was I good?"

Elias laughed very faintly, a hand coming to thread through Robert's hair. "You weren't bad." His voice was a little hoarse.

Robert snorted and gave him a playful nip, slowly starting to pull out. "Gay sex is pretty nice."

Elias made a slight sound of amusement, guiding him in for a kiss.

* * *

"He's a mechanic." Elise handed Robert her phone as Gary jumped into her lap, curling up with a chirp.

Robert swallowed his mouthful of curry and set his take-out box down before accepting the device.

On the screen was a picture of a man. He had a strong jawline, deep brown skin, a broad nose, warm eyes and big lips. His hair was made up of tight, springy curls in a tapered cut.

Robert felt himself smile and gave a low whistle, handing the phone back. "Very handsome."

Elise laughed and the subtle pink spreading across her cheeks did not escape Robert's notice. "His name's Harry." She slid her phone onto the coffee table.

Robert gave Gary a scratch under the chin, enjoying the way his purrs vibrated. "Introduce me sometime."

She let out a happy little breath. "Of course."

Robert continued to smile. "Ah mate, I'm chuffed for you." He said, reaching for his curry again. "Oh hey!" A superb idea entered his mind. "We should do a double date again."

Elise laughed, full and sweet. "No." She shot Robert a playful look. "With all the love in the world, Robbie, I am never going on a double date with you again."

Robert chuckled, scooping up a spoonful of rajma masala. "Right then."

* * *

It was a very odd gathering and Robert wasn't quite sure what Annette meant by it.

At the head of the dining table, sat Dave; expression pleasant as ever. On his right, Annette's expression was stern but Robert could easily spot the soft edge she put on when making an effort. Beside Annette, was Ricky. Ricky had never been allowed in Annette's house before and he didn't seem particularly thrilled to be here; his expression held a subtle hint of fear. Emma was at the other end of the table, looking happily confused by the whole thing. And finally, Robert and Elias sat opposite Annette and Ricky respectively.

Robert poked a piece of broccoli. "Dave, you're a cracking cook."

Dave smiled. "I do my best, Rob."

Emma cleared her throat quietly.

Robert felt Elias shift beside him.

"So, how is-"

"Lovely beans-"

Ricky and Annette spoke at the same time.

Ricky looked horrified and Robert stifled a laugh.

Annette threw Robert a dirty look and started again. "How is... work, Ricky?" The way she said _work_ gave one the impression that it pained her.

Ricky blinked. Once, twice, three times. He glanced to Robert, before focusing back on Annette and trying a wobbly smile. "Yeah, alright, thanks."

"His newest client is seventy-one." Emma piped up. "She wants to get into weightlifting."

"Oh." Annette nodded slowly, hand closing around her wine glass.

Robert squinted at her.

She took a sip.

"Holy shit!" he laughed.

Annette's lips curled. "Language."

Robert ignored her. "This is a thing." He said and received five looks of varying confusion. He put down his fork and beamed at Annette. "This is a bridging thing."

The five looks of varying confusion intensified.

Robert shot Ricky a grin. "You can relax, brother. She's trying to get to know you."

Ricky didn't look wholly reassured.

Robert just continued to smile. "By the end of the night," He started, speaking to Annette again. "you'll see why I've kept him around so long, against your better judgement."

Annette had another sip of wine.

Robert's chest buzzed and he dived back into his dinner.

Stilted conversation started again when Dave asked Emma how she got into plumbing. Gradually, things became less awkward and it really wasn't long at all until everyone seemed to loosen up.

Robert did less talking than usual, but no less smiling. He looked about Annette's posh dining room and felt impossibly warm. There was a lot of love in here.

Dave was a bit of an odd-bod, but he was decent and made Annette happy; Robert naturally held affection for him. Similarly, Robert couldn't help but be fond of Emma and the light she brought to Ricky's eyes. Ricky, it went without saying, was profoundly important to Robert. Annette was Annette. Overbearing and opinionated. Kind and thoughtful. Willing to try.

Elias, Robert didn't yet have the words for. He was irreplaceable. Of that much, Robert was confident.

* * *

"'Lias." he said, fastening his seatbelt as Elias started his car.

"Mm?"

Robert grinned stupidly at him. "You're a cup of tea."

"Am I?" Elias hummed, pulling onto the road. "I didn't know."

Robert chuckled. "I mean, that's what you are. To me." He wasn't doing a great job of explaining. "Think of the most comforting feeling in the world. The thing that calms you down no matter what. The thing you think about when you're away from home too long." Robert trailed his eyes down to where Elias had taken his bottom lip into his mouth. "That's what you are to me."

A breathless laugh slipped from Elias's throat. "Are you trying to kill me?"

Robert snorted. "Ah." He clicked his tongue. "You figured it out."

Elias rolled his eyes. A beat passed. "To me," He started softly, hands slipping down the steering wheel. "you're the sound of Beef snoring."

Robert laughed. "Mine was more romantic."

Elias threw him a look; fond, exasperated and amused all at once.

Robert wanted to kiss him.

He supposed he'd wait until they got home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im shit at endings lol uh so might fiddle w this at some point  
> but thank u for reading :) hope u enjoyed ✌️


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